This post is just some ponderings....I have no wisdom, but I have been thinking about this whole "mothering" thing. I love this job, this title, this responsibility, this blessing more than anything else in this world. But what does it mean really? This is heavy on my mind because my oldest is graduating in one week and I just keep wondering where the time went? I can hardly remember any of it, what did I teach her, what was her childhood like, did I do a good job, what is the next phase with her? So as I ponder these things it occurs to me that most of my thoughts are ultimately about ME. Like for instance...does she know just how much I love her, does she know that she can come to me no matter what FOREVER, does she know that I will come to her rescue at the drop of a hat and help her, does she know that I will DO anything for her for the rest of her life??? Well, these are not only self centered thoughts they just aren't true...
Does she know how much I love her...my love is so weak, and my love is so fallible and my love is so incomplete, but the love of God is perfect. So I hope I taught her about God's love not mine, because mine will fail her, God's will never fail.
Does she know she can come to me for anything and I will always be there for her...again...not true...as much as I'd love to I can not always be there for her, I could die today or she could go to a foreign country and then I've taught her a lie...but, God will always be there for her He is eternal, He will never leave her, even when she goes to the other side of the world or when she dies He will be there ALWAYS.
Does she know I would rescue her at the drop of a hat...again, not true. I would certainly try, but the truth of the matter is there is so much in this world that is completely out of my control or even my understanding, but, God has complete control, he sees the whole picture and He is Soverign and he is in the business of redemption. He can redeem every situation every circumstance, so even if He allowed her to go through something horrible or if He allowed her to pass from this earth, HE is her Savior here and in Heaven forever.
Does she know that I would do anything for her...not true....I am so limited in what I can do and I don't know what is best, but I know God can do all things according to His plan and His purpose, and He has NO limits. HE IS GOD.
So what it boils down to for me is the only real job as a mother is NOT to teach them about me, but to point them to God, to teach them who is the Creator of them and this entire earth, and pray for God to cover all, because as a mother He did give me a very important roll, but that roll is to realize I am nothing without Him and I can do nothing without Him, and then to teach my children the same, and to always hold them up in prayer before the One who can love them to perfection, redeem them, save them, protect them, guide them, and give them EVERYTHING they need. I have screwed up countless times as a mother, and will continue to screw up, but I know that God gives grace, and so with His GRACE, love, guidance, and protection I get to be involved with 5 wonderful kids that He put in my charge for a few things.