Stop Acting Like an Orphan

I have orphan behavior. 

 How does an orphan act?
 *I realize this does not apply to ALL...it's just a bit of my experience and observation of orphans that have been left to fend for themselves.* 

No trust.  Total fear.
Acting out of self preservation and self reliance.
  

We have a child who is no longer an orphan.
*praise the Lord*
  God has graciously and lovingly placed this child into our family and they are no longer an orphan, no more an orphan than I am.

 But this child can slip back into orphan behaviors sometimes.
What I have come to realize is that I slip into "orphan behavior" with God many times.

I have a family that has always been there for me,  but more importantly I have a 
heavenly Father
who said He will never leave me or forsake me.

  He said He will always provide all that I need.

  He will guide me and tell me when and where to go and He will take care of
 EVERYTHING FOREVER.

 But, I still don't always trust.  I slip into fear, and self-reliance.
  When He gives me things, I only want more.
 I seek His hand and not His face.

 I often try to figure out how I got Him to "give" the time before, so I can do it again.
 As if His goodness depends on me.
It doesn't!!!
He is good and He is GOD no matter what I do.
He is looking for my heart to trust Him....not my behavior to be modified out of selfish desires.
I need to know Him and trust that He is with me; he is completely trustworthy and faithful.

"STOP ACTING LIKE AN ORPHAN",
is what I want to say to my child and to myself when we are acting out of fear, rather than trust.

 Jesus said,

John 14:18-20

18 “I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you. 19 Yet a little while and the world will see me no more, but you will see me. Because I live, you also will live. 20 In that day you will know that I am in my Father, and you in me, and I in you.

This verse has significantly more meaning now that I understand what an "orphan" acts like.  Many times an orphan that is not cared for by a family during crucial developmental stages will attach to about anything or anybody at the drop of a hat, because of learned behavior, it is survival. 
Their brains tell them, "I will modify my behavior and attach to whatever comes around the corner because I have to look after myself."
 Many times, even after orphans have been adopted into a loving family they have a hard time adjusting to all that being in a family means.

 They will modify behavior and attach (superficially) to anything or anybody except for their family.  The ones that are now providing for them and loving them will be kept at an arms length, or a hearts trust away.

I have noticed, that when things are good, it's really good. If things get really hard, then my child knows where to go in the end.  
But,
in the day to day trust of basic daily things, it can be a struggle.

Isn't this how we treat God so many times, we thank Him, or rather give Him a little fly-by prayer when we are happy and getting what we want, 
or
 if we are desperate we will turn to Him.

But, I wonder how much we are missing to just enjoy Him and the benefits of being His children EVERYDAY in EVERYDAY situations.

I wonder what life would look like to live in the confidence and freedom of being 
GOD'S DAUGHTER
all day everyday.

It has occurred to me so many times that I tend to keep my heart at an arms length from God.

 God has adopted me into His family.

He pursued me and loves me and provides for me and protects me. 
 And yet,  I often times look everywhere, but to Him to do these things on a daily basis.
 I act as if I have to figure it out for myself.

 God is my Father and He is faithful and that is the freedom and security I need to live in every single day.

Ephesians 1:5-6

 In love  he predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ,according to the purpose of his will, to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved.

Here's an example of the difference:

Kids that have never had an "orphan" experience and live with trust and security in their family will ask, "What is for dinner?"

A person with "orphan behavior" will say,
 "Are we having dinner tonight?"

  It is a lack of trust....even though EVERY single time that child has been in a family they have gotten dinner...they still question and don't trust that dinner will be provided
 AGAIN and AGAIN 
EVERY SINGLE NIGHT.  

I have personally experienced God's faithfulness over and over and over...I have read about it in the Bible, and heard testimony of countless people of God's faithfulness in their lives, and yet, I act as if I don't always know if He will actually come through
 AGAIN. 

 I want to come to the point in my faith and trust with God to ask,
 "What amazing blessing will I get this time?"
....vs...
"Please just help me if you can or would."

I want to trust and believe that He loves me and will provide for me.  
I want to live and love in that freedom and confidence of who I am in Christ.

I have learned how hurtful it is to see a child not trust because they can't quite embrace what it means to be in a forever family and a cherished and loved child.

I can only imagine how much more my God desires for me to TRUST Him and embrace what it means to be a child of God!  

Romans 8:15For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, “Abba! Father!”