The biggest obstacle I hear when people talk about adopting....is affording it.
Trust me, when I say that was my BIGGEST obstacle! I battled it almost daily. When I tell you we were the MOST unlikely, MOST financially unstable, at the WORST time EVER in our 21 years of marriage as far as FINANCES are concerned...I am not exaggerating. Not one bit!!! I don't like getting into the nitty gritty, but trust me when I say we were and are in a bad way financially, and the last thing we had ANY business doing is bringing home another child to feed and care for, let alone go through the cost of THE ACTUAL BRINGING HOME OF THE CHILD.
FYI ******In the adoption world people like to refer to it as the "ransom" versus..."how much it cost to adopt a child"....******
The Lord showed us His faithfulness over and over and over and He did provide and so I feel I need to write this out ....some of it is a repeat, but I just feel I need to testify again of how the Lord worked it out and maybe it would encourage someone who it struggling with the same issues on adoption or anything else that the Lord is calling you to do.
A couple of things I can look back and say is......it makes me sick to my stomach to think that we may have missed out on bringing Esther home because we couldn't "afford" to bring her home. She was an orphan in an orphanage....rescued from the streets....so to think that I could someday look at her if I had let one more day go by and say....the reason we didn't come and get you sooner or the reason you grew up without a family is because when God called us to you....we just couldn't afford it. WHOA!!!! That makes me sick and scared of how much my decisions can affect others.
Another thing I can look back and say with confidence is we COULD NOT have done it or afforded it without God intervening and when God intervenes He calls His people. Well, He called and MANY answered. If we would have just kept quiet about what we were doing and not been open and share I believe we would have missed out.....it took HUGE humility on our part to put ourselves out there, but in the midst of that God blessed us, and I have been told OVER AND OVER that others were blessed through our journey and through being a part of it, in prayer and support in every way imaginable. And again, I look back and think, would I want to explain to Esther someday, or the Lord in heaven someday, that I was just too proud to ask for help to bring my daughter home. Would I explain to her that she needed to remain without a family for longer because I didn't want people to know our business or that we needed help. OUCH!!!
Let me clarify**** I prayed my guts out leading up to the fundraiser that we did do**** I did NOT want to do one....I wanted God to send a check in the mail, but when He laid it on our hearts to do the particular one we did......we had to move in faith and be obedient and He blessed it. I believe if we would have done ANYTHING else it would have been a flop.....He had soooo much to teach us through the fundraiser that we did do. Remember God is the Creator, so I know He always provides for what He calls us to, but it's different every time and that's why we always need to seek Him and pray and ask for guidance, because He is creative and loves to show us His amazing Glory, and He does that by making it a bit different for everyone, and He makes sure we know that it was Him, not our effort...and I'm here to testify....it WAS ALL HIM!
In our economy, in our wisdom, in our education we are taught that it is flat irresponsible to do what we did and to do what many are considering and what many have done before us. But God's economy is VERY different, and I definitely think people need to be responsible and use common sense but ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS let God lead and when He lays something on your heart your FAITH had better outweigh EVERYTHING else...EVERYTHING else, every feeling, every bit of wisdom, every piece of education. FAITH must be bigger in our lives than our experience, our bank account, our ability, our brains. FAITH must be the thing we rely on above anything else!!!! FAITH in God and what He can do!!
For us it was not a decision made lightly, we prayed and we fasted and we looked in scripture and God confirmed over and over that He wanted this and that He would provide, but He didn't do it ahead of time....it always came as needed and NOT a moment too early....WHEW!!!
When I was alone with the Lord and in His Word and in prayer I knew that I knew that I knew that He was laying this on my heart....but it took one question one look one little thing to get me spinning....I finally learned to lean ONLY on what I knew to be true when I was with the Lord and seeking Him and His wisdom. Most times when the questions or looks would come, it was not even a negative....but, I was insecure and embarrassed because I knew what we were doing looked crazy and I knew better than anyone what our "circumstances" were.
So....I write this to testify to what the Lord did for us....He provided EVERY dime....YES through people that had the faith to step out and support a crazy family doing a crazy thing according to the world, and we have been blessed abundantly! I'm again humbled and grateful, and freaked out that I could have made the decision to NOT do this, to not bring this child home. Again, it scares me to think about the things I have already missed out on for lack of faith, or not wanting to be embarrassed.
So, please whatever God is laying on your heart...in your quiet moments with Him and you are asking Him to guide you and direct you, and if it is crazy crazy...keep asking Him, look in His Word, Pray....and then DO IT DO IT DO IT!!!! Do NOT miss out on the blessing because of pride or fear or WHATEVER.
