I Will Not Leave You As Orphans

Here is a thought I have been pondering for awhile now.....

I don't know if this lines up with what others' experience, or how this will go over in the adoption world, but, here is my thoughts and my experience with my daughter, Esther.

My relationship to my daughter, Esther, has taught me a lot about my relationship to my Heavenly Father.

**Clarification:  I know I'm not God to any of my kids...I fail them daily and mess up...and God never fails and never messes up...but, there are some similarities in relationship.**

I KNOW that I will never leave Esther...I will love her and always be there for her...I just know this...it's a fact..she's my daughter and I will be there for all my kids...I will never leave them...just as God has promised to never leave us...it doesn't mean I can or will protect her from everything bad, and there will be times I won't be with her physically, but I will always be her mom...I will always pray for her and love her and there is nothing she can do to change that.  BUT...I know she doesn't TRUST this or me yet...she loves me and she comes to me with her needs and her desires, she hugs me and kisses me, and we are very bonded....but, we can be right in the midst of the best time, or when she is truly enjoying herself or in the midst of receiving EXACTLY what she desires - and she is asking for more - worried about the next thing.  She will be sitting there with a HUGE bowl of ice cream, and asking for more, worried this is the last of it and she won't get anymore.  I, as her parent know there is more ice cream to come in the days ahead, and I can tell her that as many times as I want, but she doesn't fully TRUST this.

This behavior reminds me of myself - God can blow my doors off with answered prayer and goodness and blessings and in the back of my mind - I'm asking for the next thing...I'm NOT resting in His presence, and enjoying FULLY the blessing of Him and His gift - I'm worried and positioning myself for the next thing...NOT trusting that He will take care of the next thing..next day..next need...next desire.

*Much like the Israelites - they were freed from slavery - had seen extraordinary miracles had manna rain down from heaven - Had ALL their needs taken care of by GOD and they had the gall to complain and gripe and not trust the Lord, over and over and over again...this went on for 40 years in the desert as they wondered around complaining and God just continually provided and fed them and showed them miracle after miracle, blessing after blessing.*

My birth children - who have been with us since their birth - are typical children...still ask and beg and want, and complain, but there is a certain TRUST that they have that Esther does not have yet.  They know that they have always been fed and clothed and loved and cared for, so they can enjoy a moment for what it is - not worrying about the next thing, next meal, next next next * Esther does not have the history with us yet, she doesn't fully trust, she has to get to know us and be able to rest in the love and the fact that we are with her, we will do our very best for her.  Just as I get more and more history with the Lord, as I get to know Him better I realize I can trust Him for everything.  Of course this doesn't mean we give her everything she wants or asks for...If we did that, we would NOT be doing what is best for her,  we know what is best for her, better than she or any child thinks is best for them.

Just like my heavenly Father knows what is best for me - and He will NEVER leave me - and He will always LOVE me and He will always provide for me and take care of me.  He knows ALL THINGS.  

So, I'm working on trusting the Lord better, and I'm praying for Esther to trust us as her parents.  I'm working on NOT pouting when my Heavenly Father doesn't do what I think He should do when I think He should do it, and I'm teaching Esther to NOT put when she doesn't get everything she wants the minute she wants it.

I'm praying I learn to trust and rest in the wisdom, and protection, and provision of God, and I pray Esther learns to rest and relax in the provision and protection of us and ultimately this will help her trust and enjoy the presence and provision of our LORD.

John 14:18

English Standard Version (ESV)

 ¹⁸"I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you.

I think there is a lot more meaning to this verse than I ever realized.  Thank you Lord for not leaving me as an orphan, but coming to me and saving me, so that I don't have to worry about tomorrow, but have ETERNAL life with you not matter what goes on in this life and world. Thank you for never leaving me, and loving me NO MATTER WHAT.