Bossing Jesus. *Praying Like a Mother*

I was feeling especially burdened for my kids yesterday.  I had an opportunity (bliss) to drive to town with no kids in the car, so I just started to pray for them.

  I thought it would ease the burden I was feeling in my heart, but it did the opposite.  I felt discouraged, like every kid that came to mind was battling something hard. From the grown kids to the grands.

  It felt like too much, not too much for God, but too much for me.  I was like, why do I even have to know some of this stuff?  Why can't I just say a little prayer asking God to watch them and care for them and move on to thinking about what I should make for dinner.

I told the Lord, it's too much.  You know what they need, why not just leave me out of it?  What came to my mind startled me.  I instantly thought of Jesus first miracle.  And the part that came to mind was that Jesus had no intention of bothering with the wine supply at the party, it wasn't really a life and death situation by all means.  But, HIS MOTHER, was concerned.  She was a mother and that's what we do.  So she asked Him to fix it.  She went to Jesus, because even though He was her son, she knew He had what it took to fix this little party problem.  Jesus, was maybe a tiny bit annoyed...like, he thought it was just not His issue to solve. 

 Mary was kindof bossing Jesus around, along with his friends.

  But,  He did it, He stepped in and fixed it.  He made wine and He made it the best wine.  He solved a party problem at a mother's request.

Here's what I get out of this, Jesus hears our requests, he even cares about a party problem.  But, He has a special ear for mothers.  God has equipped us moms with a special gift to see something in our kids, that maybe nobody else knows or sees.  We have a unique way of seeing into their little hearts, maybe because their hearts were put together in a mother's body.  I think we can go boldly before Jesus and ask for things nobody else knows they need.  We can also encourage our kids in a way that nobody else can, because we see something others don't. We can call out their gifts like nobody else. 

Dads have their special role, but I know in my house, it revolves around leading and providing and discipline. 

 Those things are needed first and foremost, but as a mom I have the ability to see deeper.  It's not always a blessing, it feels heavy and dark many times, but I know who to go to to "lighten" the load.  The things that I have prayed for on behalf of my kid, God hears and He steps in.  I have prayed for everything from acne to salvation.  There is nothing too big or too small, and God could totally do it all without me even whispering one prayer, but I would miss seeing and knowing that He hears me, and I get to be part of what He is doing in these situations with each of them.  

Praying is hard work people.  Jesus prayed until He sweated blood. There is so much work to be done, especially for our kid,s and I think  praying for them, is the most important and most effective WORK we will ever do for them.  

John 2English Standard Version (ESV)

2 On the third day there was a wedding at Cana in Galilee, and the mother of Jesus was there. 2 Jesus also was invited to the wedding with his disciples. 3 When the wine ran out, the mother of Jesus said to him, “They have no wine.” 4 And Jesus said to her, “Woman, what does this have to do with me? My hour has not yet come.” 5 His mother said to the servants, “Do whatever he tells you.”

6 Now there were six stone water jars there for the Jewish rites of purification, each holding twenty or thirty gallons. 7 Jesus said to the servants, “Fill the jars with water.” And they filled them up to the brim.8 And he said to them, “Now draw some out and take it to the master of the feast.” So they took it. 9 When the master of the feast tasted the water now become wine, and did not know where it came from (though the servants who had drawn the water knew), the master of the feast called the bridegroom 10 and said to him, “Everyone serves the good wine first, and when people have drunk freely, then the poor wine. But you have kept the good wine until now.” 11 This, the first of his signs, Jesus did at Cana in Galilee, and manifested his glory. And his disciples believed in him.

Transplant Transition

I’m a firm believer that in order for healing to take place, we have to be honest.  I don’t necessarily think that means we tell everybody everything
 (although for me, I have a hard time with this, I seem to tell it all to everybody or nothing to nobody).

When we are honest about an issue, first with God, and ourselves, and then with others, we can heal up and move forward.

Most times, I just want to move forward and act like some stuff never happened.  The problem with this, is it isn’t honest and it doesn’t allow for complete healing, it leaves people feeling awkward and fake.
I am really good at being awkward and I'm really bad at being fake, so to help avoid as much of both of these as I can, it's just good to give some honest clarity.

I don’t think a blog or social media is a place to vent or process things, but I do think it’s a place for honesty.   If I’m going to put myself out there it needs to be honest and if I’m going to call people friends, even facebook friends, I had better treat them like a friend, even if it’s pretty surface, it can still be an honest surface.

I also believe addressing the elephant in the room can make room for a lot of other things that belong in that space.

We have processed with the peeps that were part of the process, and now it's time to get up and move on.

We have had to make some changes.  We have had a body change. 

 We have transitioned into a different body.

*OK…I know in our culture, in our time this is not funny…well maybe a little*

I'm talking about a church body.  

*For people unfamiliar with

 “church talk”

We worship in a different local church; we belong to a different body of believers.*

We still worship the One and only true God and believe the only TRUTH is God's Word,
 we just worship with a different  group of  people corporately, on a regular basis.

When you are part of THE CHURCH, you are part of God's family no matter where you attend.

This change has felt more like an amputation than a transition at times.
 We are now feeling like we are going to live again, and it’s more like a transplant that was necessary for our health and growth.

It’s taken awhile to realize and accept that we needed a transplant, and then we needed to find a healthy match, and now we are learning how to function and healing is taking place.

Many of us tried together in many ways to make it work with the body we were in, but it became unhealthy for everyone involved.  These kinds of transplants hurt, and take a lot of time to diagnose, and they cause a lot of pain in the process, but they are better in the end.

Where we worship is a big deal to us.  We don't take it casually.  Charlie and I spent too many years just taking it casually and it was dead feeling.  We knew we were supposed to go to church, and we loved Jesus, but it was pretty boring.  We have learned how precious it is to be a part of a body and live it out, and there is nothing casual or boring about it.

 9 years ago, for the first time, we began to understand that we can actually be a part of what God is doing, in our lives, in our time; that God has invited us into His Kingdom work.
We jumped in and made a big splash, and also muddied some waters.
When this bunch is invested, we come with a lot of energy, and we add a lot of diversity, and we come on strong and roll in hot. 
We pour all we have into where we are, and sometimes it’s too much for the people around us.
  We can freak people out. 
 I understand this, as I’m freaked out by us on most days.

  We realized THIS was the only way to live and feel truly alive.
We don't do any of it perfect and many times we flail (thus the muddy water), but thankfully we have a God that takes care of us and the people around us and never gives up on any of us, and He can use all that we offer to Him, even if it's mud sometimes.

Charlie will forever be grateful for the opportunity to build a church building.
 It has been a highlight of 27 years and running of his building career.  To be a builder and a  Kingdom builder at the same time and place, was a privilege and an honor.
 Charlie was humbly honored for the opportunity to preach on several occasions, and officiate the wedding of his daughter, on the same stage that he literally laid the wood on and  hammered the nails into.
 He poured out his blood, sweat and tears both physically and spiritually right in that same spot. 

Hebrews 3:4 (ESV)

4 (For every house is built by someone, but the builder of all things is God.)

We have experienced some amazing works of the Lord in our own lives and many of the lives we will be connected to for eternity in that body.
 We will always remember with thanksgiving.

I believe when we sit around in heaven and talk about the things we experienced God doing in our lifetime, for us, there will be some good stories to retell about this part of our journey.

We stand on the TRUTH that God is a God of reconciliation and restoration, and we don’t get to be in charge of how or when that happens in any given situation.
We know that He works all things together for our good and for His glory.

Ephesians 1:6-11New Living Translation (NLT)

6 So we praise God for the glorious grace he has poured out on us who belong to his dear Son. 7 He is so rich in kindness and grace that he purchased our freedom with the blood of his Son and forgave our sins. 8 He has showered his kindness on us, along with all wisdom and understanding.

9 God has now revealed to us his mysterious will regarding Christ—which is to fulfill his own good plan. 10 And this is the plan: At the right time he will bring everything together under the authority of Christ—everything in heaven and on earth. 11 Furthermore, because we are united with Christ, we have received an inheritance from God, for he chose us in advance, and he makes everything work out according to his plan.

God is amazing and we will do whatever it takes to grow in the grace and the freedom and the joy that He bought and paid for us on the cross.

So, if you see us every week, or you see us once a year, or at church or in the park or grocery store, we are confident that God’s Kingdom is ever growing, and it is big and beautiful and messy, and it's His Kingdom, not ours, so we must follow His Way, and His leading in our lives for our good and for His Glory.

Ephesians 2:8-11English Standard Version (ESV)

8 For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, 9 not a result of works, so that no one may boast. 10 For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them. 

Fight or Friendship

 I asked these three young men to share a piece of their story with us this last weekend.
 I can't get over it.
 When I tell you these guys are world changers, I mean it.
 They are all different and wild and full of life.
These guys are all bright and spread out all over the map in every way.
When they come together it's a feeding frenzy.
They feed on food and knowledge and friendship.

It seemed like a pretty simple moment sitting in a restaurant, and it turned into one of those times that we all knew was special and deep and different.

These guys are beating the odds. 
They are not going with the flow of the world or taking the easy route in any aspect of their lives.
They do the hard stuff.  They work hard and play hard; they learn and love hard things.

Claiborne took us on a journey of what his college life was, and the changes that he has made in the process.  He has had quite a journey and non of it easy, but very amazing.
 He has learned to mature and to own who he is and what he knows about himself and the world. 

 

He reminded us of how him and Kole became best friends.
 They had a class together their freshman year and they were literally going to fight, and walked away best friends.  I think they felt a connection and it was going to be a fist and face connection or a heart connection.  I'm so glad for the connection they decided on.  Claiborne's freshman year, he came to Oregon and met us, and when I learned a little bit about him I knew he was in our lives forever.  He remembers the day we were taking family pictures and I told him it was a commitment.  I don't take family pictures lightly.  It's a bit like a covenant to me.  He made the decision to be in the picture and from that day on he has been a part of the family.  Claiborne was pretty quiet when I first started "mothering" (pelting with questions) him, so I learned that he loved cookies.  I would bake cookies and tell him he owed me 10 minutes of conversation per cookie.  He liked my cookies, and I liked baking them and learning more about him, so I got to know him pretty well when he lived with us for a summer.

 

This weekend we had the honor of meeting more of his family and they are the best.  They cheered on their Claiborne with such pride and excitement. 

 

 They did a family huddle before parting ways after the graduation and it was so sweet and powerful.   I can tell these people stick together thru thick and thin and love each other strongly.  I'm thankful our circle widened, and now we have even more "family" to love.
  Claiborne had us cheering on one side, and his family cheering on the other side.

 

  We had him surrounded on all sides, with love and support and cheering and whistles and pictures. 

There were over a 1000 graduates and Claiborne stood out among them in every way. 
He is a special guy and we are blessed to have him in our lives.

Brady shared with us his journey in deciding to go to medical school.  I'm excited to watch him become all he is called and equipped to be. Brady is crazy smart, and he is also one of the most polite people I have ever known.  He knows how to treat people with respect and he knows how to relate.  He also shared how he is learning thru teaching, and the things he is learning are about looking deeper into the kids he is teaching.  I know whatever he does will be profound and will make this world a better place to be for everyone.

 Kole, very unwillingly shared a poem that he wrote for a class at Eternity Bible College.  It was good, really good.  He was not very excited to share it, but Kole can be bought.  So.....I paid him to read it, and now I feel like I own that poem (just saying).  Kole has a passion inside of him and a thirst for knowledge and it is all pointed straight at Jesus.  I feel like he is being refined and matured and when he gets his orders from above he will be ready, set, and  he will GO with everything in him.

We ended our time together with Charlie and I getting the privilege and honor of praying over these guys and also for Claiborne's beautiful girlfriend, Erica. We joined hands right in a simple Mexican restaurant and felt connected to God and to each other.  We left knowing more and loving deeper. 

This is what I know to be true....this is only the beginning for these guys and our continued prayers for them. These guys are world changers, and I pray that they put all their big passions and hunger for knowledge into knowing and loving the God that gave them their  amazing lives. I pray they continue to live full speed ahead, taking in everything they can, and pouring out the love that has been given to them for the

 GLORY OF GOD.

Love Like A Mother

My definition of being a good mom has changed over the years. 

 Maybe I'm tireder or maybe I'm wiser, either way I've changed.

I'm not the field trip, theme birthday party, picnic kinda mom.  I still have little ones, but I don't do these things very often.

I love the women that do these amazing things, and I did them, years ago, but it never came super natural for me.

Maybe I'm tireder or maybe I'm wiser, but it just seems like a lot of extra work to take care of me these days also. 

I have given this job to Jesus full time. 

 He loves me and takes care of me and whips me into shape by His Word. 

 I still have to do the maintenance things that women do, but when it comes to caring for me....I need all the work on the inside where it lasts and I need a serious professional,

God himself, not myself.

  If I spend too much attention on the outside it just seems to get snotted on or puked soon after anyway.

When I asked the grown kids recently what we did that impacted their lives for the better, and the answers I got were things about relationship and time.  

Relationship with God and with people.

  Their answers had to do with the fact that Charlie and I were together forever,  and that we loved Jesus and taught them what that looked like at home in our daily lives.

  They answered, saying when we invited others in and opened our home and our hearts to others; it made an impact. 

 This seems so crazy, because when you invite others in, no matter what level, it means some sacrifice and sharing time and stuff.

  But this is what they valued the most. 

 Isn't that so opposite of what the world will tell you?

It reminded me of when the older kids were little kids and I had decided to make their summer amazing.  This was even before facebook or pinterest where I could get likes for such an awesome summer. 

I decided at least a couple of times each week we would go somewhere or do something that centered around them having fun and making memories.  

As I was exhausted at the end of these days, when I would tuck their tired little bodies into bed, I would ask what was their favorite part about the day,  and the answer would be something like this:

The Snacks.

When we stopped in and saw Meme at the fairgrounds.

When dad came home and we got hay together.

I was like what in the world am I doing????

My "me" time is usually spent running or driving. 

 There is something about forward movement, I guess.

 Running, because I love it and I need it;  I need to get this heart to beating and lungs working hard; and driving because I can strap down the little ones and let my heart and breathing calm down and I can enjoy good coffee and good worship music. 

  My "me" time is usually spent trying to keep my head on straight and my heart tender to the things of the Lord.  None of this comes super natural for me, it takes a super-natural God to keep my head and heart in the right rhythm. 

 I have to press in hard and long for a tender heart and clear mind.

The older I get the more Jesus time I need, not less.  I need to get before God and ask and receive from Him long before I can face the day or people. 

My kids are my first mission field, they see me at my worst and and my best, and I'm their first introduction to Jesus. 

 This terrifies me actually, but it's where I see God's grace the most at work in me and thru me.

2 Corinthians 4:15-16English Standard Version (ESV)

15 For it is all for your sake, so that as grace extends to more and more people it may increase thanksgiving, to the glory of God.

16 So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day.

The way I see it, the outer layer isn't going to get any better at this point, and it's only going to last so many years anyway....so I may as well  put the work on the inside, that can be transformed and renewed and be made more beautiful as the years go by forever.

The other part I have come to understand, is being a mother is a heart condition.  

Sometimes it comes thru birth and sometimes thru adoption, and sometimes just simply thru a mother's heart.  

When you have the heart of a mother, whether you are a mother or not, you just are a mother to anyone that comes into your heart and needs to be loved with the

 MOTHER LOVE.

God gave mothers the

 MOTHER of LOVE.

 MOTHER LOVE

 is fierce and wild and tender and big and crazy.

May we all love with the MOTHER LOVE and LOVE like a MOTHER!

Pumped To Lay It Down

I had the privilege of attending CAFO  for a second time. 

Christian Alliance For Orphans.

IT WAS SO GOOD!

I felt encouraged and humbled and blessed and encouraged and humbled and blessed and over and over again.

The theme seemed to be remembering that we are made from dust and God has put us together and breathed His life into us; He is amazing and He has invited us into His work to bring glory to Him and Him alone. 

What a privilege and honor and what amazing and challenging work He has invited us into.

We were surrounded for 2 days with thousands of people that are living this out in a beautiful way.  There is a lot of brokenness and restoration represented in this kind of conference.

 People are at the end of themselves,
 and yet so full of light and love.

God's heart is for the orphan, and there is no better way in my mind, to get close to  the heart of God than to care for the orphan. 

 It will rip your heart out of your chest and then God will do His thing and repair and reconcile hearts with His love.

He will do a work in all the hearts that bring their brokenness to Him for love and repair.

God is after our hearts and our kids' hearts,

 He is interested in lovers, not performers.

He is too good and too kind to settle for anything less than total

surrender.

The beauty of orphans and orphan loving people is that is very clear that there is need of help and healing, and so it doesn't take long to get painfully honest.  This is a gift.  We all need to get to this place one way or another, because we all need Jesus to help and heal us, so the sooner the better.

I was reminded how disgusting our pride is and how amazing our God is. 

 In mission work of any kind we can start to think we have done something wonderful, when the truth of the matter is, our Father is so wonderful  and He invites us into His wonder and we get to enjoy a piece in the redemptive story. 

Many times the mission we are on, and the God we serve get switched around, 

we begin to worship

 ministry - family - work 

 because we once loved God; 

instead of doing all these very important things because we worship God and 

LOVE

 Him first and most and forever.

Revelation 2:2-5New Living Translation (NLT)

2 “I know all the things you do. I have seen your hard work and your patient endurance. I know you don’t tolerate evil people. You have examined the claims of those who say they are apostles but are not. You have discovered they are liars. 3 You have patiently suffered for me without quitting.

4 “But I have this complaint against you. You don’t love me or each other as you did at first! 5 Look how far you have fallen! Turn back to me and do the works you did at first. If you don’t repent, I will come and remove your lampstand from its place among the churches.

One of the worst mistake we can make is to elevate anything we do, even good things, above our faithful Father who has given us life and breath.

We are so drawn to results and work that can be seen at the end of the day, and accomplishments that we can measure and share.  God is so much bigger and better than anything we can measure or accomplish. 

 I was reminded once again of how easy it is to GO and do and leave God in the dust, instead of remembering that I am made of dust, and He, in all His grace and mercy has allowed me to GO and do anything.

I've been tired and a bit overwhelmed in this season of my life.

 My parents have moved away, my big kids have moved away, and it's mostly me and my hard working man and our 6 non-driving, teen and young, very active, involved kids. 

 It's nothing compared to what so many are doing, but for a bit I was feeling pretty tired and lonely.  

All I had to do this weekend was look around and it humbled me.  

I quit looking at myself and began to turn to Jesus (this is repentance) and remember who is in charge, who is my strength, and who my faithful Father, who my provider is, and I'm ready to

 GO. 

Pumped up to lay flat on my face and be amazed that God allows me to be a part of 

His-Story 

with my life.

These peeps need me to remember and remind us that God holds us together and breathes HIS life into us;

instead of trying to hold it all together for us,

 in my flailing panicked hyperventilating routine.  

Cheeto Prints on My Wine Glass

Here is a picture of my night life:

Many facebook friends take pictures of their beautiful plates of food or their romantic settings with wine.  

This is a picture I snapped for a few of my closest friends last night. 

 Not staged, or filtered. 

I mean, who would stage such a scene?

 This is us, this is real.  This picture that just tells the truth. 

 We can all debate the harm of cheetos and the trap of wine or we can just look at it for what it is.  Cheetos made my littles happy and encouraged at least one bite of broccoli last night.  

The wine makes me feel grown up and sophisticated at the kids table among the cheeto eaters, which I have sat amongst for the last 25 years.

  We don't make a habit of cheetos or wine.
We don't eat the whole bag or drink the whole bottle.

And we only enjoy them together for REALLY special occasions.

Last night, the special occasion was that I had lived thru Wal-Mart shopping another day.

I made it to multiple kids' pick ups and drop offs and an appointment on time without having to take even one kid into a public restroom.

There was no kid games or track meets to suffer cheer at.

So....for this season, this night is very rare and special.

Let me take you on a tour of my table;  I have wine in a wine glass, but it's a pretty sturdy set up.  I have cheetos that I can grab at random as they are scattered all over the table.  I am at a tiny plastic table with tiny plastic chairs in front of a tiny wall heater. 

I am warm relaxed and satisfied. 

 I am in the company of tiny people that think I am the bomb because I made brownies on this day 

AND

 let them eat cheetos as a side dish

 FOR DINNER.

My littles ate with joy and then ran off to get the last few minutes of  screaming play in for the day, and I was left by myself  at the table listening to worship music inside, and pigs squealing outside.  The big kids and hubby were outside rounding up the 4H pigs and fixing their pen that they keep escaping out of. 

*clarification...the pigs keep escaping from their pen, NOT the teens*

When the teens and hubby came in for the night, I graduated to the big people table.  We  enjoyed conversation that did not include cheeto bribes, and we included meat served on ceramic plates.

For that moment,

it's me and my wine glass with cheeto prints all over it.

Only God himself could give me such a blessed and

 messy

 full

 life.

1 Corinthians 9:19, 22-23

19 Even though I am a free man with no master, I have become a slave to all people to bring many to Christ. 22 When I am with those who are weak, I share their weakness, for I want to bring the weak to Christ. 

Yes, I try to find common ground with everyone, doing everything I can to save some. 23 I do everything to spread the Good News and share in its blessings.

*emphasis mine*

He Is Risen. May He Rise Up In Me!

Today is Easter!!  Jesus is risen!!!  He has conquered sin and death.  

As He rises the SUN everyday, may His SON rise in us.  Make us beautiful just like the SUNRISE.  Everyday, even on cloudy days may your SON rise just like the SUN!

In Kenya last year when Charlie was there.

 

May He rise up in our hearts and bring GLORY to His name.

He has risen.  May He rise up in me.  

Lord, make my life a SONRISE that I may shine your glory everywhere I go, everything I do.

Jesus is ALIVE and may He LIVE in me, fully ALIVE!!!!

Praying for the leaders of our homes, and families, and churches, and country, that they may 

LEAD IN FOLLOWING JESUS!!!!

At the beach a few months ago.