On The Move part 1

I remember the first time I really struggled with God over our house situation.

Charlie was in the church announcing our heart and intention to adopt Esther, and I was in the car in the parking lot with a restless toddler

 (that was my excuse for excusing myself to the car).

I had prayed expectantly all the prayers that I thought could motivate God to intervene, and God was not fixing our situation, at least not that I could see and certainly not in my time frame.

While Charlie was in Uganda meeting our daughter, I was receiving paperwork saying we were headed into foreclosure on our house.

I remember telling the Lord that I wanted to adopt, but I didn’t feel right about it, given the situation we were in, and I didn’t think we could or should until He fixed our situation.

I mean what business did we have committing to raising another child when we were obviously failing at life.

This was the lie I told myself so often.

I remember so clearly him telling me that our house situation would be part of the testimony; that we were to obey Him and follow His call on our hearts to adopt, even in the midst of not knowing how or when this was all going to work out.

I didn’t hear Him audibly but I knew EXACTLY what He said.

As time went on and on and on for 8 solid years, I couldn’t figure out what we had missed or why God didn’t seem to be answering or taking an active role in our dilemma.

 It felt hopeless, and like it was getting worse, not better. Don’t get me wrong, He did a ton, His provision was generous and gracious and beyond anything we could ever hope for.  He has let us live here for all these years; we didn’t make one payment in all those years.

Once you get behind, it’s all or nothing. 

Catch up or shut up.

 Honestly it felt a little bit like God was paying child-support vs. being an active Father in this particular aspect of our lives.

 My journals are full for 8 years of repeating the same prayer a thousand different ways.

  Help us Lord! Help us with this mess! It’s getting worse Lord, and we don’t see a way out.

We begged for direction and answers and we felt like we got silence and faithful provision.

 I was thankful for the “child-support”, but it just felt like He was disconnected and not really in it with us.

It felt like He was providing, but not hearing us or fixing it.

We tried everything we knew how, and we took advice from anyone who would offer up an idea or expertise or prayer.

We tried to sell, refinance, apply for programs, and all the while pray pray praying.

As things seemed to drag out longer and longer, I had it in the back of my mind, that God was going to make sure nobody got credit for what He was going to do, it was going to be His deliverance and His alone. I felt it so strongly, but I rarely had the confidence to speak it out, as I felt like we had failed, or we wouldn't be in such a situation.

Over the years, we tried to make this plan and that plan, basically thinking if we just did the right thing, that God would release us to move on, or make something come together so we could stay and pay like good people who pay what they owe.

Every time we got restless in our situation, Charlie looked for work elsewhere and I looked at moving to some place with warm weather and a fresh start.

 Nothing felt right, nothing opened up.

We continued on right where we were.

We never stopped living right where we were, we were raising kids and living our lives, but we always had in the back of our minds….

How is this thing going to turn out???

In the meantime, God blessed us and added to the equation with 2 amazing kids thru adoption, and 2 more birth children, 2 son-in- laws, 1 daughter- in- law, and 5 grandchildren.

We began to pray that God could use us somewhere outside of our 4 walls, and asked that God would provide support for our kids we are still raising.  We have 3 teenagers and 3 littles we are still raising. The 3 teens are so different from one another; these  3 teens all need something so different, and it has felt like Charlie and I weren’t cutting it anymore. We needed help and support in a whole new way.  We have had great support over the years, from family and friends and teachers and coaches; but it felt like we needed more.  We were seeing some red flags and we know we are in the last stretch of having them in our home and parenting at this close proximity.  We need people that will pour into their hearts, not just their activities, for the rest of their lives, not just for a season.  We had a shift in thinking from moving towards a better job and weather, to moving to opportunity for deeper relationship and community.

We went to Montana for Spring Break to see all our grown kids and grand kids, and within the hour of our arrival we got a message that we had an offer on our house.

After 8 years of waiting, we had an offer the very hour we arrived in Montana to explore the possibility of moving there.

The offer was a full price offer and Charlie came home and signed it on March 28, which is 7 years to the day that Esther came home to us.

 March 28 is a big deal to us, because we reflect and celebrate all God has done and taught us thru the process of adoption.

  We mark another year of His faithfulness thru good and hard times.

  God moved in our lives in such a mighty and personal way in that season, that from that experience forward, we have never been the same.

 It blows my mind that He chose the exact day of the year, that is unique and special to our family, to show us once again, 7 years later how close He is paying attention, that He is not just paying child – support,  He was not absent or out of touch; He is patient and faithful and good. 

He could see the whole picture, when I could only see the growing problem right in front of me.

He was working it all together for our good and His Glory!

He knew each detail of each person this would affect and He loves each person and didn’t let one thing or one person or one day fall thru the cracks.

Romans 8:25-30 English Standard Version (ESV)

²⁵ But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.

²⁶ Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. ²⁷ And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because  the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. ²⁸ And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.

 We still have to move forward in faith, but each time we come to a crossroad or a decision He has shown us which way to go!

 It is so important for us to know that God is the one leading and guiding us in every decision and directing every step we take. 

God has blessed us and trusted us with this family, we praise Him for all He has done, and we thank Him, and we pray that He moves us closer to Him no matter what our address is.