The Day I Ruined God

I have to document today so that if there are any "follow up" visits regarding the following information I can have a clear memory of the events;  I may be slightly traumatized and block out all of the following information as soon as my mind will allow me.

First!  I wake up this morning feeling like GARBAGE, but have to force myself to take Maezie and Reece to their "well child checkup".  I am bad about doing these AT ALL, but there is a chance we may be losing our insurance at renewal time, so I drug my achey self out of the bed and out of the house.

The older kids were so good to help me get the littles ready for the big event, by dressing them and forgetting to comb their hair.

 JUST, as we are heading out, Esther informs me that Maezie slept with several uncapped markers all night and has MAJOR marker stains EVERY single place on her body and her bed.  All I could think to do, was ask if she had on clean underwear.  No clue what that was going to prove, but I've always heard good mothers make their kids wear clean underwear....WHATEVER...I panicked people.

We then proceed to the Dr. office where now days there is a list of questions that you can't prepare your children for because I don't want to make them liars or scared to go to the Dr. and answer questions, so here's how this goes.

Dr. - Maezie and Reece, do you always wear your seatbelt?
Maezie - Only sometimes.
Reece - Rolls eyes and acts like he is reading a magazine.

Dr. - Maezie and Reece, tell me about yourselves?
Maezie - I gave Reece a bloody nose.
Reece - Yep, she did.
Maezie - Doubles up her fist and gives a visual demonstration.
Dr. - Feverishly taking notes.

Dr. - Do you wear helmets when you ride bikes and scooters?
Reece - I'm really good at scootering, so I don't need a helmet.

Dr. - Let me listen to your belly Maezie.
Maezie - I just farted.

Dr. - Do you ever feel bullied at school Reece?
Reece - Welllllllllll, there's one kid and he lies and cheats at games.

Dr. - Kids, how do you cross the street?
Reece - look both ways and hold hands. (I'm feeling proud for 1/2 of a second.)

Dr. - Very good, do your parents help you cross the street? (We live in the country and NEVER cross any street).
Reece - Well, often times my family crosses the street and they leave me to do it ALONE.

Dr. - Kids, do you drink milk?
Maezie - Only chocolate.

Dr. - Do you eat your fruits and veggies every day?
Maezie - No, I hate eating.
Reece - She only eats when dad is home because he is strong.

Cellie, this whole time is making a mess and poops her pants and I'm doing the 'ole obnoxious nervous laugh, trying not to hurt my kids or hurl on the floor, because remember I DON'T FEEL WELL.

We have mild drama with the shots and such.

We make it out to the car, FINALLY, of which it is HOT outside and I had to leave my yapping Grand Dog in the car WITH ALL THE WINDOWS PART WAY DOWN, so the whole world could hear him yap and draw attention to my car because I did NOT realize the kids had put GRAND DOG in the car until we were halfway to town.

I come out of the Dr. office praising God that I get to leave with ALL my children and NO escort, and I see a kid standing at the back of my car looking at something and his mother grabs him and protectively shooshes him to the safety of their car, the kid turns and glares HARD at me.

It is then that I realize that LAST night we had a youth group event at our house and one of the kids thought he was sooooooooooo funny and wrote with his finger in the dust on my back window.

It went like this:  #BL MATTER #WHITE LIVES MATTER #ALL LIVES MATTER #MOTHER'S LIVES DON'T MATTER

So I'm now in the parking lot cleaning my car with spit, changing a poopy diaper, and telling my yapping GRAND DOG to SHUT UP.

I take the kids to Sonic and as I'm ordering, Reece rolls his window down and starts ordering.  I turn around and grab his ear, but by then the milkshake that I wasn't going to get him was already ordered and I was already too embarrassed about my life to tell the Sonic lady that I can't control my kid, and I don't want to have an arguement with him while the lady has her speaker on and can hear THE WHOLE thing, sooooooooooooo I just do what every good mother would do and I add a milkshake for Maezie and then roll up the window and have my fit.

Maezie gets her milkshake and in about 2 seconds spills it all over the back seat, I squeeze my achey self between my door and the speaker and get into the back of the car and use every napkin I have to clean up milkshake, all the while, my daughter IS IN HER SEAT BELT securely fastened, so I'm reaching around her little body that APPARENTLY only buckles up SOMETIMES.  Anyway, I get it all smeared around with the few napkins I have and there is a crafty coffee cup that the kids made at church this weekend, and I stuff the napkins in the cup, and Maezie goes into a FIT, saying that
I JUST RUINED GOD!!!!
Apparently God was in that coffee cup (which I can attest, sometimes He does show up there, but I had no idea).  She was screaming and yelling that it was the worst day, because I got her shot and ruined GOD!!!!

I had to leave and I came home and have not left my room since.

This is sadly a  true story because I could NEVER and WOULD NEVER make this stuff up.

Silence is Deadly

James 1:19-20New Living Translation (NLT)

Listening and Doing

19 Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.20 Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires. 

I have been listening to people.  I have been trying to understand.  I've learned that in order to understand I have to listen first.  And most times, I have to take the time to push passed the weather, and push passed the funny joke, and push passed the one word answer, usually the word "good" and wait for the awkward silence to come and go, and then listen and listen good.

 Often times, I fill the awkward silence....and I lose the opportunity to hear what was just beyond the awkward silence.

I've learned, that if I take the time and care to listen, the heart will speak.

Luke 6:45English Standard Version (ESV)

45 The good person out of the good treasure of his heart produces good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure produces evil, for out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.

I have learned that if I have the courage to listen, people will have the courage to speak. 

 I may not like what I hear, or agree with it, but in order to speak into their life, I have to hear their heart.   

And the heart is what we need to hear.  If the heart is hurting, or hard or bitter or filled with love and forgiveness that's what is valuable in knowing.  The other stuff is just the shell,

 the heart is where the TRUTH speaks.

 We have to be good listeners if we want the privilege of speaking into someone's life, or speak life into their heart.  

 Many times I think we are so afraid of what we might hear that we won't listen, sometimes we have to listen through the babble and the yelling and the

 HURT, to hear the HEART,

 of what is being said.

 In listening, we must listen to the heart, not listen in order to speak, but listen in order to hear.  If we are listening to pick apart or gather phases or words to gather evidence  to what we want to speak,

we have not heard. 

Once we have heard, we must respond.  If we listen then we must speak. 

 We must have the courage to listen and the courage to respond. 

 If we just listen and sit by silently it is worse than if we never even listened. 

 If we are witnesses to an injustice and do nothing, we are participating, by NOT responding.  

Ephesians 4:14-16New Living Translation (NLT)

14 Then we will no longer be immature like children. We won’t be tossed and blown about by every wind of new teaching. We will not be influenced when people try to trick us with lies so clever they sound like the truth. 15 Instead, we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church. 16 He makes the whole body fit together perfectly. As each part does its own special work, it helps the other parts grow, so that the whole body is healthy and growing and full of love.

If we all took the time to listen, even when we disagree, or when we think we ALREADY KNOW, I believe there would be unity in relationships, in every area of our lives.

I think we need to quit listening to the media and start listening to people.  I think we need to quit looking at facebook and start looking into people's faces.  

If we pay attention, we will notice it's not the people marching or even rioting that are killing, it's the silent snipers in the dark corners that are taking people out.  The rioters are trying to figure out how to be heard, how to make people listen, and they resort to shouting and yelling and marching,

they are reacting to their hurt and to our silence

.  I'm not suggesting riots or marching or ranting and yelling, 

I'm suggesting listening and hearing,

 and responding by speaking

TRUTH IN LOVE.