When we are weak, He is strong

I had quite a picture of life the other morning...... one of those moments where I could have burst into tears or busted up laughing at the same time.

Charsie came in from doing chores in tears...she was mad and totally frustrated because as she was feeding the horses they decides to escape out of their pen. They began running around like a herd of wild horses. They are quite a herd when they are all together. They are a bunch of beautiful, strong, healthy horses, but they each have a history with scars and issues.

We have a sweet gal living with us, her name is Kelsie and she works at a ministry that rescues abused horses and they bring kids in that need some extra loving and they let them groom, ride, and take care of the horses and the ranch staff give the kids some one on one lovin' and attention and tell them about Jesus.

So one of the "herd" of our horses is Kelsie's that has retired from the ranch and it is a draft horse, Kelsie also owns an Arabian...you can not get more opposite than these 2.

We also have a horse that was given to us because he is a great horse but he has issues...and just needs a little extra TLC, and an extra measure of patience to work around his issues...He could be dangerous to someone if they are not paying attention and know how to work with him and if you work with him and work around his issues..he it a great horse that does his job well.

Then we have another horse that was sold to us for $1.00...she is a beauty and a sweetie, but she has a club foot, which you would never know because with the proper care it will never even affect her.

Then we have a horse that was injured as a colt and his owner at the time just doctored on him and nursed him back to health. He is perfectly fine other than he has an outrageous scar that runs the length of his butt.

Esther's horse we have had since she was born and when she was very young she got her foot caught in a fence and nearly tore her foot completely off. She is a beautiful horse but she's pretty gimpy sometimes and has a deformed hoof from the intense scar.

Then we have 2 others that are fine.....

So this scarred powerful menagerie of horses are running wild looking quite beautiful, but acting totally out of control...so we all come from our various places to help corral this wild herd...

We have Charsie who is crying in frustration, Kole who is limping from a knee injury from football the night before, my dad who was less than 12 hrs. released from the hospital from a 2 day failed attempt at placing a stint in his heart...and me who is 6 months prego and have a distinct waddle to me. The only full able bodied person was my mom, a grandma of 22 grandchildren in her early 60's. So mom, rounded the horses right into our broken, limping, crying, waddling circle of people and we got them corralled.

I was laughing at how silly we looked, all these broken up people rounding up these scarred up horses that we take care of and love and provide for and enjoy and use and realized this is such a picture of life...

We have horses that all have a history, scars and and a few issues that are taken care of by us, their owners, and loved all the more with all their scars and issues...just as we are loved all the more by our Lord even with all our junk and brokenness, if we just let HIM take care of us and draw from HIS strength and wisdom and direction. And our Lord loves us, and uses us and works with our issues and scars and heals us and makes us strong and beautiful.

2 Corinthians 12:9-11
The Message (MSG)

My grace is enough; it's all you need. My strength comes into its own in your weakness.Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen. I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift. It was a case of Christ's strength moving in on my weakness. Now I take limitations in stride, and with good cheer, these limitations that cut me down to size—abuse, accidents, opposition, bad breaks. I just let Christ take over! And so the weaker I get, the stronger I become.

Good Stuff

Life is good.

Life is crazy.

I have so much going on, but have a strange sense of calm and peace.

My dad is in the hospital with a heart "thing"...they are trying to get a stint in....it was not successful today, and they will try again tomorrow using a different technique. We are praying this works...the alternative does not sound like much fun.

We are getting ready and excited for a bridal shower for Lashae this week-end and we have less than 45 days before she is married.

Esther has been going to school and LOVING it...she even got a great award today, for being a real ray of sunshine in their class. PRECIOUS!!!

Charsie is finishing up her on-line homeschooling....she will be going to high school next year. Where has the time gone???

Kole is getting home at horrid hours every night this last couple of weeks...he has school....football, basketball, and studying for finals and S.A.T.S Every night for the last couple of weeks. He will be a senior next year!!! WOW!!!

Luke is anxious for summer, he is ready to start tackle football this year. UNBELIEVABLE!! He is finishing up baseball, and he hit a double the other night...VERY EXCITING FOR HIM.

Reece is busy being Reece...it takes a lot of energy to be Reece. haha

The baby...is growing growing growing...so that means so am I...heehee

Charlie just keeps his head down and ass in the air, as he puts it...ie.....working working working and grateful for the work. He is nice and tan already and it just makes his silver hair shine all the better...he's also as strong as ever....so there are benefits besides paying the bills....he does NOT have to worry about a work-out or a tanning booth or highlights...he gets the package everyday!!

We have many different things going, but it is going good and we are feeling very blessed and very grateful that these are the reasons we are busy and these are the things we have going on in our lives. God is soooo good and we trying to just enjoy this and not feel overwhelmed and miss out on the joy of it.

Affording Adoption

The biggest obstacle I hear when people talk about adopting....is affording it.

Trust me, when I say that was my BIGGEST obstacle! I battled it almost daily. When I tell you we were the MOST unlikely, MOST financially unstable, at the WORST time EVER in our 21 years of marriage as far as FINANCES are concerned...I am not exaggerating. Not one bit!!! I don't like getting into the nitty gritty, but trust me when I say we were and are in a bad way financially, and the last thing we had ANY business doing is bringing home another child to feed and care for, let alone go through the cost of THE ACTUAL BRINGING HOME OF THE CHILD.

FYI ******In the adoption world people like to refer to it as the "ransom" versus..."how much it cost to adopt a child"....******

The Lord showed us His faithfulness over and over and over and He did provide and so I feel I need to write this out ....some of it is a repeat, but I just feel I need to testify again of how the Lord worked it out and maybe it would encourage someone who it struggling with the same issues on adoption or anything else that the Lord is calling you to do.

A couple of things I can look back and say is......it makes me sick to my stomach to think that we may have missed out on bringing Esther home because we couldn't "afford" to bring her home. She was an orphan in an orphanage....rescued from the streets....so to think that I could someday look at her if I had let one more day go by and say....the reason we didn't come and get you sooner or the reason you grew up without a family is because when God called us to you....we just couldn't afford it. WHOA!!!! That makes me sick and scared of how much my decisions can affect others.

Another thing I can look back and say with confidence is we COULD NOT have done it or afforded it without God intervening and when God intervenes He calls His people. Well, He called and MANY answered. If we would have just kept quiet about what we were doing and not been open and share I believe we would have missed out.....it took HUGE humility on our part to put ourselves out there, but in the midst of that God blessed us, and I have been told OVER AND OVER that others were blessed through our journey and through being a part of it, in prayer and support in every way imaginable. And again, I look back and think, would I want to explain to Esther someday, or the Lord in heaven someday, that I was just too proud to ask for help to bring my daughter home. Would I explain to her that she needed to remain without a family for longer because I didn't want people to know our business or that we needed help. OUCH!!!

Let me clarify**** I prayed my guts out leading up to the fundraiser that we did do**** I did NOT want to do one....I wanted God to send a check in the mail, but when He laid it on our hearts to do the particular one we did......we had to move in faith and be obedient and He blessed it. I believe if we would have done ANYTHING else it would have been a flop.....He had soooo much to teach us through the fundraiser that we did do. Remember God is the Creator, so I know He always provides for what He calls us to, but it's different every time and that's why we always need to seek Him and pray and ask for guidance, because He is creative and loves to show us His amazing Glory, and He does that by making it a bit different for everyone, and He makes sure we know that it was Him, not our effort...and I'm here to testify....it WAS ALL HIM!

In our economy, in our wisdom, in our education we are taught that it is flat irresponsible to do what we did and to do what many are considering and what many have done before us. But God's economy is VERY different, and I definitely think people need to be responsible and use common sense but ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS let God lead and when He lays something on your heart your FAITH had better outweigh EVERYTHING else...EVERYTHING else, every feeling, every bit of wisdom, every piece of education. FAITH must be bigger in our lives than our experience, our bank account, our ability, our brains. FAITH must be the thing we rely on above anything else!!!! FAITH in God and what He can do!!

For us it was not a decision made lightly, we prayed and we fasted and we looked in scripture and God confirmed over and over that He wanted this and that He would provide, but He didn't do it ahead of time....it always came as needed and NOT a moment too early....WHEW!!!

When I was alone with the Lord and in His Word and in prayer I knew that I knew that I knew that He was laying this on my heart....but it took one question one look one little thing to get me spinning....I finally learned to lean ONLY on what I knew to be true when I was with the Lord and seeking Him and His wisdom. Most times when the questions or looks would come, it was not even a negative....but, I was insecure and embarrassed because I knew what we were doing looked crazy and I knew better than anyone what our "circumstances" were.

So....I write this to testify to what the Lord did for us....He provided EVERY dime....YES through people that had the faith to step out and support a crazy family doing a crazy thing according to the world, and we have been blessed abundantly! I'm again humbled and grateful, and freaked out that I could have made the decision to NOT do this, to not bring this child home. Again, it scares me to think about the things I have already missed out on for lack of faith, or not wanting to be embarrassed.

So, please whatever God is laying on your heart...in your quiet moments with Him and you are asking Him to guide you and direct you, and if it is crazy crazy...keep asking Him, look in His Word, Pray....and then DO IT DO IT DO IT!!!! Do NOT miss out on the blessing because of pride or fear or WHATEVER.

Our little African treasure is 10!!!!

We are soooo blessed to have this girl home with her family for her 10th birthday. Esther is a very special young lady and we were in love with her before some of us had even met her and now that we have had her home for 2 months we are even crazier about her.

We are sad for the years we have not had her around, we have missed 9 years of her precious life, but we are glad that God has allowed us to be her family now. We are also thankful to Redeemer House Orphanage for being obedient to the Lord and looking after orphans because our girl was taken care of very well by each person there, and loved on and provided for and she learned about Jesus, and got to go to school. We are glad that the Lord has opened our eyes to adoption and that we took the leap of faith, because I can not imagine my life without this daughter. She is teaching us WAY more than we will ever teach her, but I believe that of all of my kids. She just has 10 years of stored up things to teach me, and I'm taking it all in as fast as I can. She is patient and loving and deep. This girl LOVES deeply...she loves the Lord, and she loves her family and she loves her friends. Esther is a prayer warrior. She also has a great funny bone, because she loves to laugh and she loves to joke! Esther is bright and kind and helpful, and joyful. She has not had an easy life, and yet, she does NOT let it get her down, it makes her who she is and she is compassionate and strong and her faith is huge, and Jesus is her everything.

Esther has become quite a little cowgirl. She "feared" horses when she got here and now she asks to ride. She has adapted so well to our family, and to our lifestyle, but she has NOT lost who she is....she has just added to her resume.....and her wardrobe...she still prefers to wear skirts, but has found it doesn't work too well in the cold and in the cowboy world so she can dress like a African darling and a rodeo star all in the same week.

Here she is at a rodeo, just enjoying her family and friends. What a blessing and a joy to get to raise this girl!!!

Thank you Jesus for bringing her home to us and for opening our hearts and our eyes just a bit more.

Ministry

What is your ministry???

As believers we all have the SAME goal: and that is to love the Lord with all our hearts, soul and minds and strength and to love our neighbor as ourselves. These are the commands that the Lord gave us. If we do these two things everything else falls into place...I think this looks a bit different for each of us though. For me, he has laid on my heart the whole adoption and orphan thing. I have a heart for it and I'm passionate about it...it's EASY for me to fill this calling because I believe in it, but it all points back to HIM...



Mark 12:29-31 (New International Version)
29 “The most important one,” answered Jesus, “is this: ‘Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one.[a] 30 Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’[b] 31 The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’[c] There is no commandment greater than these.”

For everyone it will look a little different, but if we are doing SOMETHING with our passion, in the name of our Lord which means that it lines up with LOVING HIM and LOVING PEOPLE...then we are right on track.

The only way we can figure out what is layed on our heart by God, or what our passion is, and how to use it for Him.....is to spend time with Him..to know His word and His voice, ask Him and listen and read. He is sooo clear in His Word, what we are to do, and how EVERYTHING is about Him and His glory.

I think so many times people get caught up in the "thing"...or the "ministry", and they lose focus of what it is truly all about. This is sad because I believe it all starts with the right heart and then it can easily turn to "our work" or "our thing" and we begin to take pride in what we are doing and not what God is doing. We need to remain "humble servants" doing it for the glory of our Lord and somehow we turn it into something to feed our ego or our flesh in some way.

I bring this up because people say....what we did for Esther is so wonderful.....well, I feel like it is wonderful that we were allowed to do it, and that we are the blessed ones for God using our family in this way. It is not anything we did other than felt the tug at our hearts and asked the Lord what to do with it, and He did the rest. We are the blessed ones...we are the ones that have had this wonderful thing happen in our lives. That's just how good our God is!!!


Then I think other times people think they have nothing to offer, they have NO ministry....that is sooooo untrue. Everyone has something they love and are passionate about, and if they let God do something with that, they can use it for Him.

I know of people in ministries with horses...with quilting...with orphan care...with homeless....with politics...with tea....with clothing people so they can interview for a job...with kids.... with foster care...with the elderly.....with sports....with with with with...the list is endless. God is soooo creative and He made us all different, but He made us for His glory and His purpose...so if we find what it is that makes our heart break and soar at the same time...then do something with it for HIM!!! If it's pointed back to Him and loving on Him and people; He will do the rest.

Many times people are guilted into doing something or feel pressured into something, but if it NOT layed on your heart by the Lord...you are just doing something good, which is not a bad thing, but it is probably not going to change anyone's life, but if you do what is layed on your heart and you give it 100% to Him, then He is glorified and people are changed.

video: Operation Bring Esther Home

Here is a video that Kole put together for showing highlights of their trip to go get Esther and bring her home!!!!

Memorial Box Monday - Wedding Dress

I've been waiting to do this Memorial Box Monday post for awhile, and I just couldn't wait to do it anymore...so it's going to be on a Tuesday. Memorial Box Monday, is a way of reminding us of things God has done for us. Sometimes it's big huge things and sometimes, it's just a simple sweet reminder that He loves us and He cares about us.

So this post is about a wedding dress.................

Lashae went shopping locally for a wedding dress, and she found the one she wants....it is perfect for her, but it was out of our price range; we have plenty of options and she is not hard to please, but she just knew that this one was her favorite and her dream dress, but she had no problem realizing that we needed to keep looking and find something more our price range...it was exactly 2 times what we were willing to pay.


A couple of weeks after we had shopped, Lashae had gone to Montana to be with Chaney and to celebrate his graduation from college....(yes we are soooo proud).... and we had decided when she got home we would just take a trip to Portland where they have many Bridal shops and find her a beautiful dress.

I was laying in bed one morning while she was in Montana, and watching Charlie get ready to head out the door for work and he just looked like he had the weight of the world on this back that morning, and I just whispered a very simple prayer to God, and asked that He help us pay for this wedding. I just simply asked that He showed us the way, and reminded Him that we just needed His help with everything.

That same morning just a couple of hours later I got a call from Lashae, so it was only a few hours after I had breathed a simple quiet prayer, and she sounded upset and like she was crying or stunned....I said, "What is the matter?"....She says, "I just got a call, mom, and the wedding dress shop that has my favorite dress just called me, and some anonymous donor just donated a large amount of money towards that dress, which would leave us the exact amount we said we could pay for a dress!" Whoa.....are you kidding me....so the dress shop owner called the manufacturer and there is one dress left in that style and it is Lashae's size!!!




I was wondering who would do such a thing....we really hadn't even told many people....and I was talking to a girlfriend, and told her what had happened and she said, "God did such a thing." It snapped me right out of it....I know that God didn't drop that money out of the sky into the wedding dress shop, but He layed it on someone's heart to do something so generous and sweet and they did it, and we are BLESSED because of it.






I was thanking the Lord and saying....but there are people who need food, there are people who have much bigger needs than a wedding dress Lord, why would you do such a thing...and He spoke to my heart and He reminded me how much He loves us, how much He loves Lashae, how proud He is to be her heavenly Father and that HE IS GOOD and that HE GIVES THE BEST GIFTS!! I know He did it because He is GOOD!!! Because He loves Lashae, because I whispered a simple prayer, and He cares He hears and He answers....He is a huge God and He cares about each and every detail of our lives, and sometimes....He just likes to suprise us with a big 'ole fun gift that makes us smile from ear to ear and give Him PRAISE AND GLORY for EVERYTHING....everything from wedding dresses to finding famililes for orphans.....He is a GOOD and GLORIOUS God and He loves to treat His children to surprises and gifts of all shapes and sizes!!!