Showing Up! Awkward and Uncomfortable. School Year 2018-19

 This is a weird year for us and totally out of our comfort zone; it feels like home and right where we need to be, but it is not comfortable or easy.  Everything is new and different.  The weirdest part for me is that Charlie is not here.  I'm awkward as it is, and now I'm totally away from all things familiar and trying to herd 6 kids and all their activities without my man to buffer and lead. Ever since I can remember, I get in unsure situations, and my mind goes blank and I can't even put 2 words together.  So you can only imagine how conversations go these days.....(eye roll).

I think in the long run, it is good for me.  I have had to put on my Granny panties and act like a mother.

 I have had to push thru the uncomfortable awkwardness and just keep showing up (sometimes twice for the same thing because I get the time or place wrong a lot).

 Part of the current awkwardness is people see me with my circus kids and no man and I feel like they have questions and well-placed concerns...well....if I could put 2 words together, I could make it easier on all of us, but since I'm blacking out most of these public moments...I will just have to let them wonder.





The kids are all gone to school for their first day except for Maezie who I am homeschooling this year and Cellie who is going to spend too much time with Netflix this year.

Charlie flies in this evening to spend the weekend with us and see the first football games and volleyball game of the season.  Charlie is the best dad and husband a family could ever ask for.  He is working his head off and leading this family even from 1,000 miles away.









Every time I begin to panic about what we are doing I look at the GRAND scheme of things and remember what is really important.  

God is so faithful and kind and generous to provide for us and to help direct us out of our comfort zone and let us be a part of this sweet sweet season.

Proverbs 2:5-11 New Living Translation (NLT)

5 

Then you will understand what it means to fear the Lord,

    and you will gain knowledge of God.

6 

For the Lord grants wisdom!

    From his mouth come knowledge and understanding.

7 

He grants a treasure of common sense to the honest.

    He is a shield to those who walk with integrity.

8 

He guards the paths of the just

    and protects those who are faithful to him.

9 

Then you will understand what is right, just, and fair,

    and you will find the right way to go.

10 

For wisdom will enter your heart,

    and knowledge will fill you with joy.

11 

Wise choices will watch over you.

    Understanding will keep you safe.