Brewer House Scoop

I have struggled with this post for A LONG time,  YEARS really. 

 It is about our house....or the losing of our house.

The reasons that I have struggled with it OVER THE YEARS has been for various reasons.  

PRIDE

PRIVACY

INSECURITY

BEING MISUNDERSTOOD

FEAR

GUILT

*if you notice, none of those above words are words that glorify God....so thought I would just do the opposite*

BE HUMBLE

TRANSPARENT

SECURE in CHRIST ALONE

STEP OUT IN FAITH AND FREEDOM

and let ya in on the ongoing testimony saga of our house....

I have been a witness and a recipient of so many wonderful things that the Lord has done and is 

still

 in the process of doing through this journey, that I would be holding back on a testimony that He has given me if I did not share.

  I believe He has given us a testimony and it's important to speak it out, in His timing of course,
 but I tend to error on the side of

 speaking when I have a chance to whine

 and being silent when I have a chance to testify.

  I pray God is changing that in me.  

And soooooooooo...I will SPEAK and TESTIFY!!!

First of all....please understand this is a REFINING process and we are NOT out of this fire yet.

 I kept waiting to see how it turns out to make a fun post  about it...but that also implies that I will only testify if it turns out good, good by my selfish fleshly standards of good, which is not good.

  I honestly have NO idea how this is all going to turn out....but I know that God has us in the palm of His hand....and HONESTLY...I'm not worried or upset or anxious

ANYMORE, on the house situation. 

 That in itself has been GOD and God alone!

PRAISE HIS NAME!!

There are so many details and God stories to speak about  that have happened along the way, and I will probably spill it all, over time, but for now, I will tell where we started and where we are today in the midst of this testimony.

We are losing our house.  

Actually we should have been booted out a long time ago, but by the grace of God we are still living in it.

  We have not made a payment in 3 years.  

  *for those of you who are jealous or think that is not fair.....it's not a good thing, and it hasn't been easy, and we are not getting away with a thing :) * 

 It's not that we haven't wanted to pay our mortgage or that we chose to do other things with our money, we just couldn't make ends meet.

  We tried everything we knew how to do, and it just got to where there were no options.

 Many factors played into what brought us to the point of

 NOT

being able to pay our mortgage, but that is for another day.

We got our first foreclosure notice when Charlie and Lashae were in Uganda the first time.
 While  God was lighting a holy fire in Charlie, the not so holy fire was raging at home. 

 I felt like our lives were falling apart and actually God was putting it together.

Charlie was being transformed,

 and I was just a big crazy mess!!! 

 I didn't know what was going on...I just felt the fire getting HOT!!

We have prayed and prayed for God to help us, for God to give us more work, sell this place, modify the loan, the list goes on and on of the solutions we have proposed to God. 

 So far...we have no idea how He is going to answer this prayer.  I can also tell you this much...

MY PRAYER HAS CHANGED and MY HEART HAS CHANGED

 on the matter.

  I honestly don't care...it's not a rebellious or depressed not caring...it's simply that I don't care. 

 I have learned to TRUST God in the matter.  Even though He has not FIXED it yet...He has shown up and been faithful

 EVERY SINGLE DAY.  

My prayer is that we 

GLORIFY HIM and SERVE HIM

 with

 EVERYTHING 

HE HAS GIVEN US.

God has been so faithful, completely wonderfully faithful. 

 I have many sweet stories of His provision and His faithfulness in big ways and little detailed ways along this journey. 

 He has reminded us daily that He is with us and He knows ALL THINGS and He cares for us.

  He has allowed us to live here for 3 more years than we should have, and while living here we have lived abundantly!!!

 We have not lived abundantly by the world's standards, but it has been a more abundant life in the last 3 years than any I have ever lived.

 I would not exchange the abundance that I have experienced for all the houses in the world. 

  During these 3 years of truly abundant living, we have been stripped of every EVERY savings, credit, security, extra, or fall back plan we had on this earth. 

 God has been so kind during the process and He has given us gifts.... MANY FUN and LOVING gifts.  He has also been very gentle.  He has prepared us each time another thing is stripped, and this last time...this  last earthly security we gave up..(yes GAVE up this time).....we didn't even struggle with it...we practically threw it out...because we KNOW from experience...He has something so much better for us if we just let it go...so why not throw it??  :)

That's it...that's all I know so far.  One of the HUGE and GRACIOUS gifts the Lord has granted us, is He has blessed us with a friend, a lawyer friend, who is doing all the communication with the bank.

 PRAISE GOD!!! 

THAT IS CALLED MERCY!!!  

 The stress and anxiety and frustration is gone. 

 I just answer via e-mail when I am asked a question, it's quick and easy and painless.

***Disclaimer***

 This is our journey, our testimony unique to us. God does things different and individually for all of us and in all of us...so please don't stop paying your mortgage or get rid of your insurance for heaven's sake.

 It would just be wrong and stupid frankly.