Brewer House Scoop

I have struggled with this post for A LONG time,  YEARS really. 

 It is about our house....or the losing of our house.

The reasons that I have struggled with it OVER THE YEARS has been for various reasons.  

PRIDE

PRIVACY

INSECURITY

BEING MISUNDERSTOOD

FEAR

GUILT

*if you notice, none of those above words are words that glorify God....so thought I would just do the opposite*

BE HUMBLE

TRANSPARENT

SECURE in CHRIST ALONE

STEP OUT IN FAITH AND FREEDOM

and let ya in on the ongoing testimony saga of our house....

I have been a witness and a recipient of so many wonderful things that the Lord has done and is 

still

 in the process of doing through this journey, that I would be holding back on a testimony that He has given me if I did not share.

  I believe He has given us a testimony and it's important to speak it out, in His timing of course,
 but I tend to error on the side of

 speaking when I have a chance to whine

 and being silent when I have a chance to testify.

  I pray God is changing that in me.  

And soooooooooo...I will SPEAK and TESTIFY!!!

First of all....please understand this is a REFINING process and we are NOT out of this fire yet.

 I kept waiting to see how it turns out to make a fun post  about it...but that also implies that I will only testify if it turns out good, good by my selfish fleshly standards of good, which is not good.

  I honestly have NO idea how this is all going to turn out....but I know that God has us in the palm of His hand....and HONESTLY...I'm not worried or upset or anxious

ANYMORE, on the house situation. 

 That in itself has been GOD and God alone!

PRAISE HIS NAME!!

There are so many details and God stories to speak about  that have happened along the way, and I will probably spill it all, over time, but for now, I will tell where we started and where we are today in the midst of this testimony.

We are losing our house.  

Actually we should have been booted out a long time ago, but by the grace of God we are still living in it.

  We have not made a payment in 3 years.  

  *for those of you who are jealous or think that is not fair.....it's not a good thing, and it hasn't been easy, and we are not getting away with a thing :) * 

 It's not that we haven't wanted to pay our mortgage or that we chose to do other things with our money, we just couldn't make ends meet.

  We tried everything we knew how to do, and it just got to where there were no options.

 Many factors played into what brought us to the point of

 NOT

being able to pay our mortgage, but that is for another day.

We got our first foreclosure notice when Charlie and Lashae were in Uganda the first time.
 While  God was lighting a holy fire in Charlie, the not so holy fire was raging at home. 

 I felt like our lives were falling apart and actually God was putting it together.

Charlie was being transformed,

 and I was just a big crazy mess!!! 

 I didn't know what was going on...I just felt the fire getting HOT!!

We have prayed and prayed for God to help us, for God to give us more work, sell this place, modify the loan, the list goes on and on of the solutions we have proposed to God. 

 So far...we have no idea how He is going to answer this prayer.  I can also tell you this much...

MY PRAYER HAS CHANGED and MY HEART HAS CHANGED

 on the matter.

  I honestly don't care...it's not a rebellious or depressed not caring...it's simply that I don't care. 

 I have learned to TRUST God in the matter.  Even though He has not FIXED it yet...He has shown up and been faithful

 EVERY SINGLE DAY.  

My prayer is that we 

GLORIFY HIM and SERVE HIM

 with

 EVERYTHING 

HE HAS GIVEN US.

God has been so faithful, completely wonderfully faithful. 

 I have many sweet stories of His provision and His faithfulness in big ways and little detailed ways along this journey. 

 He has reminded us daily that He is with us and He knows ALL THINGS and He cares for us.

  He has allowed us to live here for 3 more years than we should have, and while living here we have lived abundantly!!!

 We have not lived abundantly by the world's standards, but it has been a more abundant life in the last 3 years than any I have ever lived.

 I would not exchange the abundance that I have experienced for all the houses in the world. 

  During these 3 years of truly abundant living, we have been stripped of every EVERY savings, credit, security, extra, or fall back plan we had on this earth. 

 God has been so kind during the process and He has given us gifts.... MANY FUN and LOVING gifts.  He has also been very gentle.  He has prepared us each time another thing is stripped, and this last time...this  last earthly security we gave up..(yes GAVE up this time).....we didn't even struggle with it...we practically threw it out...because we KNOW from experience...He has something so much better for us if we just let it go...so why not throw it??  :)

That's it...that's all I know so far.  One of the HUGE and GRACIOUS gifts the Lord has granted us, is He has blessed us with a friend, a lawyer friend, who is doing all the communication with the bank.

 PRAISE GOD!!! 

THAT IS CALLED MERCY!!!  

 The stress and anxiety and frustration is gone. 

 I just answer via e-mail when I am asked a question, it's quick and easy and painless.

***Disclaimer***

 This is our journey, our testimony unique to us. God does things different and individually for all of us and in all of us...so please don't stop paying your mortgage or get rid of your insurance for heaven's sake.

 It would just be wrong and stupid frankly.  

Getting Prepared

Isn't it just crazy how childbirth is hard and painful and yet JOYOUS and AWESOME and raising kids is hard and painful at times....but the JOY of it and the desire to do it again and again is just the thing you do...not because it makes good sense to anyone, (even yourself), but the desire is real and the JOY and the LOVE are incomparable to any other.

For those who have adopted it is the same crazy cycle.  It is hard and painful at times...but the desire is real and the JOY is incomparable.  And if you look at adoptive families, you rarely see a family that has adopted ONCE.  Once they catch the bug vision...they do it multiple times.

Today we are getting another home study done.
 We have NO CLUE who we are going to adopt or from where or what age or even
IF
we are going to adopt again....but we decided for the first time to be prepared, and for adoption that means paperwork ready, to say

 YES

 if the Lord has another child for us. 

 It's a little like taking prenatal vitamins JUST IN CASE.  I was never good at that, but I know it is a good idea.   It's kinda like getting your body in shape before you get pregnant...again always a good idea....me, not so much.

We are going to try to be ready and waiting on the Lord...if He has a Brewer out there...maybe they won't have to wait for us to get our paperwork in order.
Maybe we can just jump and GO!!!

This is a new concept for me...I was caught off guard with most pregnancies AND our adoption.  The desire was there for both...just no preparation.  :)  

Many times people say,  "You will  know when you are done having kids"....well, I missed that gene...obviously, and I look at it like this...we will just keep adding kids until WE KNOW we are done.  (I actually hope that never happens).

  I have a feeling with 163 million orphans in the world that the Lord just may have another 1 or 2 that could be Brewers.  

Just SAYIN'.

It won't do anybody any good to ask questions about who or when because WE HAVE NO CLUE.
  It's like asking a woman when she is due and what she is having......well......that's a hard one to answer....especially if she isn't even pregnant yet.  :)

So I'm just throwing it out there....we are NOT ON ANY ADOPTION CONTROL.
 If ya know what I mean.  hehehe  

We are just going to move forward and trust in the Lord and His timing and see what happens.  It's kinda fun   to do it like this....... I might get into this preparation thing...
Nahhhhhhh....probably NOT REALLY.   :)  I'm sure it's just a phase.

Dear Sister,

For those of you who don't know.  My youngest sister and her hubby and 6 kids...soon to be 7, are moving to Uganda for a few months. ( If you want to read about them, they have a blog and you can click HERE to read.)  After their time in Uganda, they are then, .not coming back to their home...they have sold most everything and are following the call on their lives and going to move to Southern California and get a new job, and go to Bible school and from there............GO wherever God leads them next.

Dear Sister,

I can't imagine how hard this is for you.  As I sit here in my comfy living room on my comfy couch with everything familiar and *normal* around me.....I think this move is hard on ME.  :)

I have watched you and Justin make BOLD and WILD decisions to follow God.  I have watched in AWE as God has orchestrated all the details, and made it all come together.   I have watched you wait on the Lord and then GO when He leads.  I have watched as you have let go of the things of this world and the securities of this life and walk by faith into the unknown to follow Jesus.

I worry at times, when my focus gets blurred and I think of the RISK and the UNKNOWNS.  And then I pray for you, and  Jesus always changes my perspective, He brings my attention back to Him. And then when I am looking to HIM and I see what you are doing because of your love for HIM and it brings me to my feet, and I begin to stand and cheer and chant, "GO GO GO GO!!!"

When I have my eyes on Jesus and the words that HE spoke in His Word, I remember that HE is in charge and He has called us all to look to HIM for our daily bread and that HE did not call us to a comfy secure life in this fallen world.  I remember that you have surrendered your life totally and completely to Him. I remember that this life is not your own and my life is not my own.  It is HIS and it is all about HIM.  I remember to trust a SAVIOR that gave up His very life for me and you and remember that we get this life...ONE CHANCE to LIVE for HIM.  When I remember all that, I can't wait to see where He is leading.  It prompts me to say, "Here I am Lord, send me.  Place in  me the courage, LORD, to do whatever you have called me to do".

I am prouder than proud of you and your family.

I am at peace when I remember that He is the One you are following.  I'm at peace when I put my trust in HIM with your family and not you or Justin.  :) no offense..

I love you VAUGHAN FAMILY.  I think what you are doing is CRAZY!!!  Crazy to the world...NOT crazy to God.  It's a story straight out of the Bible...it's God working through messed up people...again no offense :)...to do HIS work with a messed up world ...and out of all that mess HE brings beauty and love and joy and peace.  He brings glory to His mighty name.

When I focus on Him and the fact that you are recklessly serving Him....I am thankful for you and your family and your dedication and love for our Lord Jesus Christ.

Charlie and Justin were buddies and even roommates before Sha and Justin even got married.  They are big dorks when they are together!!!

Couldn't be prouder of the little sister.  

I love you giant amounts!!!

Blessings,

Sister#2

Romans 12:1-2

The Message (MSG)

Place Your Life Before God

12 ^1-2 So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.

Turn Back or Go Forward

Philippians 3:12-16

English Standard Version (ESV)

Straining Toward the Goal

¹² Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. ¹³ Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, ¹⁴ I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. ¹⁵ Let those of us who are mature think this way, and if in anything you think otherwise, God will reveal that also to you. ¹⁶ Only let us hold true to what we have attained.

Turn back or move forward?

This is the question that rings in my head a lot these days.  

I have had a habit in passed years and current days of getting lost when I run and drive.
  If I am on a trail and with a friend (especially Rebecca) I can get LOST.

  I mean LOST. 

 I have been lost for hours and hours at a time.
 (sorry Rebecca....it's just the truth  :))

 You would think if I just turned around and went back where I came from (which I have tried MANY times) that I could figure it out.
 This is not how it works.
  Getting LOST is just that....you aren't sure HOW you got where you are.  I have called Charlie many times and told him I was lost....his response is, "Where are you?".....
Seriously honey,

 IF I KNEW THAT I WOULDN'T BE CALLING!!!!


  There is no way to turn around and retrace my steps because I'm never sure how I got where I am.  There have been so many times I felt lost....turned back....got more lost and more confused...to only realize LATER...much later...had I kept moving FORWARD...I would have popped out pretty close if not exactly where I needed to be.

I'm using this as a life lesson. 

 I think we can always learn from the past.  And we can look back to remember.
 Remember, how lost we are, and how faithful God is.
  Remember how we are prone to the wrong path and HE is THE ONLY WAY.
 I must remember and  NOT go back and repeat the same mistakes or try to retrace my mistaken steps.
 I want to move forward in faith.
   There will be mistakes and wrong paths taken for sure, but hopefully it won't be the same 'ole ones and I will be seeing and learning new lessons while moving forward.

Romans 5:1-3

New Living Translation (NLT)

Faith Brings Joy

5 Therefore, since we have been made right in God’s sight by faith, we have peace with God because of what Jesus Christ our Lord has done for us. ² Because of our faith, Christ has brought us into this place of undeserved privilege where we now stand, and we confidently and joyfully look
 forward
 to sharing God’s glory.

³ We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance.