Today, I can not focus.....I can not figure out what my problem is.....and then I realize my better half is in Africa, and my oldest babe is as well. I just don't seem to have the focus or energy to do anything other that wonder what it's like....how is this changing them....what will they be like when they get home?? I'm just going through the motions here....I have baseball, little league, business duties, mother duties. It's all good stuff, stuff that I thrive on and love, but I just keep spacing off, and then again realize...over half of my heart is in Africa.
I got news that Lashae was sick...I didn't panic...I know who to go to in these situations...I know God Almighty and I know it all rests in His hands. It only spurred me on to pray for Charlie and Lashae and the rest of the team more diligently...I wondered why do I wait until I get a major concern that I get good and serious with my Lord. Maybe He allowed all that just to get me focused on Him once again.
I need to clarify, I am not immune to worry and panic, but when they are in Africa and I am here, I know there is NOTHING I can do, but pray. I need to realize this more often. Even though at home, I can take my kids to the Dr. and I can help nurse them back to health, and that makes me feel better and maybe even more in control, but the truth of the matter is I'm NEVER in control. I just have a false sense of control when they are home in my supposed care. I'm so glad that truly I am not in control and that I do know the One who is! I can't even keep my house clean, how in the world do I think I can handle their very lives.
So, if I seem a bit more spacie than even the usual...bear with me....there's a big part of me in Africa, and I just can't think of a place I'd rather have my heart....because it is their hearts desire to be there and the will of God and that is just a great place for my heart to be.
3 comments:
You and Charlie are both very strong in staying cool, calm and collected - no wonder God puts us together in stressful situations! :) I am still laughing at the text you sent me and the "I'm gloved up and ready for anything" text from Charlie.
I will never forget when Kole rode his bike off the deck - you got focused or like when I clipped Lashae's fingernails and called mom saying that she was bleeding to death. lol
I too am so glad tho we can not be there to help we have a Savior that can!
I feel like I am just sitting here waiting for them to wake up!
Jenay...I loved this post! I felt the same way when I heard about Lashae being sick. I kinda felt bad at first that I wasn't really worried about her, but I also reminded me to pray more and I just trust that the Lord will keep them safe! My days are so unexciting without my other half either and I am constantly wondering what they are doing. I love you!
Sydney
Oh, that is why when I talked to you today I thought, "she just isn't that into me anymore" ha, ha, ha, just kiddding! Yah, when I look at the clock right now it always goes to 'what time is it in Africa' and what are they doing? I will come this weekend and keep your mind on the TASK AT HAND, got it?
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