I've thought about why people are so fired up over President Trump's statement about shithole countries.  It's just a total lack of respect for people.  Maybe that seems obvious to some, but some people don't get that because they keep defending his statement.  It's not about the cuss word or the fact that he is blunt, it's the heart behind his statement.

Let me break it down....I know some people that I love with every part of my being, and they grew up in some of the ugliest and worst conditions you can even imagine in this country and other countries.  Now, mind you they had no choice of living in those conditions.  I have gone and visited some of those areas and it breaks my heart and also humbles me every single time.   I would NOT ever call any of those places a shithole.  There are people living there that I love, and some of our kids are from these places.  If I were to call it a shithole, I'm totally disrespecting where they are from, which is part of who they are.  It's like when someone has complete idiots for parents, you can be honest about their shortcomings,  but you don't demean or disrespect them as a person, if you do, you are demeaning and disrespecting part of who THEY are. 

I have walked thru some pretty tough slums, and there are many beautiful people that are more thankful for the life that they have than many well off Americans.

We don't get to choose where we are from or who our family is, but it is very much a part of who we are.  I don't care how rough someone's upbringing is or their current conditions, they don't want to be told they are from shit or the product of shitty people.

*not trying to stir up old news...but I was cleaning up my blog and saw that I hadn't posted.*

Faith and Fear - Life Drama

I thought the more kids I raised the more confident I would be about parenting.  The exact opposite is is actually true.  I find myself wanting to just close up and shut down until it's over, like a scary movie that you don't know how it will end.  Don't get me wrong, I love being a mom, but the deeper I go into this whole "mom" gig the more I experience, the more humbled and exposed I feel.  My tendency is to react in fear,  just grab on to what little faith I have left and hold on tight, and wait until Jesus comes back.  It's like, the more you know, the more there is to fear.

In months past I prayed that Charlie and I would stay in this race of faith and that we would end this life journey in a sprint with nothing left.  I just don't want to lose ground with Jesus.  I have tasted some of the sweetness of communion with Him, and seen glimpses of His beauty, and I don't want to lose track of that.  I see too many people, when it gets hard, and man does it get hard, get discouraged, hurt and too exhausted and they take their race pace down to a crawl or resort to the fetal position, curled up on this track of life,  waiting for time to run out.

  I prayed this prayer in a season of strong faith and good running conditions.  The race felt exhilarating and exciting.... my faith felt full and alive.  

Only God knew what was coming...

  I feel anything but exhilarated and excited at the moment. Life feels hard, my faith feels small, and I want to just curl up and pray I make it through the day.  It's a stupid thing to say when you look at all that God has done in our lives and the way He has shown Himself so powerful and kind, but it is the truth of where things are at the moment.

I have learned in my own life, and in reading the Bible, that often times when there has been a mighty move of God in someone's life experience, it is often followed up by fear and doubt and temptation.

  Elijah the prophet, called fire down from heaven and watched God show Himself so powerful and mighty and he followed it up by running away from a verbal threat and sitting down exhausted and wanting to die.

The disciples that walked with Jesus in the flesh, and watched as He performed  miracles on many occasions, would often follow up a day of mighty miracles with being caught in a storm or situation that they would respond in fear and doubt.

How does this even happen?  This feeling of faith to fear in the matter of minutes.

Matthew 8:25-27English Standard Version (ESV)

25 And they went and woke him, saying, “Save us, Lord; we are perishing.” 26 And he said to them, “Why are you afraid, O you of little faith?” Then he rose and rebuked the winds and the sea, and there was a great calm. 27 And the men marveled, saying, “What sort of man is this, that even winds and sea obey him?”

God has poured on His love and power and grace so huge and tangibly to our family in the last few months and it has felt like one miracle after another.  

To highlight a few:  

We had the most amazing time in Uganda, God showed up and showed off everyday we were there! 

 Lashae and Chaney made another GRAND announcement, and then we soon added to the joy that there is actually

 TWIN GRANDS!  

Every baby is a miracle, but TWINS!!!

is our God showing off miracles two at a time.

 We celebrated our son Kole (who claimed he was going to be single forever) marrying his new bride, the most amazing girl, our first Daughter in Love!

  We were surrounded by all our children and grands and parents for the wedding celebration.   

Many more friends and family who came from every corner  of this country came to celebrate with us.  

God held off the rain and storm just long enough for us to get all our celebrating done.

Now, the storm has hit in several areas and my tendency is to respond in fear, cling on to the little faith I can clinch in my tight fist, and just hang on for dear life.  

This is no way to live and run this race of faith, but it is a struggle in the midst of the storm.

 I'm asking God to calm the storms and open my heart and hands, give me a second (or millionth)

 wind,

 and run to Him with joy and not sit and shake in fear.

Philippians 2:14-18New Living Translation (NLT)

14 Do everything without complaining and arguing, 15 so that no one can criticize you. Live clean, innocent lives as children of God, shining like bright lights in a world full of crooked and perverse people. 16 Hold firmly to the word of life; then, on the day of Christ’s return, I will be proud that I did not run the race in vain and that my work was not useless. 17 But I will rejoice even if I lose my life, pouring it out like a liquid offering to God, just like your faithful service is an offering to God. And I want all of you to share that joy. 18 Yes, you should rejoice, and I will share your joy.

**** I use this blog to journal my journey and hopefully it can speak to others as well as remind me. I tell the truth and sometimes it sounds dramatic.  

Life is dramatic  for everyone, but some are just louder than others. 

I know where my hope comes from and He has my life and every storm right in His sights and in His hands!****

Poverty vs. Abundance

Uganda’s big problem is poverty and America’s is abundance and they both have the same end.

This was Pastor Tuckers statement on one Sunday when we were there,  and he nailed it.

Either way can make us stop trusting God.

Proverbs 30:7-9

Two things I ask of you;
    deny them not to me before I die:
⁸ Remove far from me falsehood and lying;
    give me neither poverty nor riches;
    feed me with the food that is needful for me,
⁹ lest I be full and deny you
    and say, “Who is the Lord?”
or lest I be poor and steal
    and profane the name of my God.

I’ve seen both extremes.  Both are sad.  Poverty looks, feels, and smells worse, because there's really no way to hide it.  Abundance is equally dangerous and probably worse because it's deceptive.  If we have all the pleasures and comforts of this world and we forget God we are lost.

Abundance can lead us astray because we often begin to think it's God's blessing.  I don't think God wants credit for our idolatry. I have no doubt everything we have is from God, the very air we breathe is from God, but if we start thinking that God is showing His approval of us by giving us more stuff and money, if that is our measure, than what are we saying about children born into poverty?
Whether we are living in poverty or abundance...we are all in need.  We need Him, we need Him in every circumstance and in every situation, in every economy and every culture.  It's just easier to see to see the need when the person lives in poverty.

I hear a lot about "culture" when people are trying to understand differences....I don't know the "culture"...it's just our "culture".....what is the "culture" like....that would never fly in our "culture".

If we are Christian, isn't our "culture" all the same no matter where we live?  We are to live the "Jesus culture"....so even though there may be differences in language and foods and transportation, politics, and education....we should use the Word of God as our "culture" guide.  I think it is important to study "culture" to understand people, but I think it's even more important to study the Word of God, so we understand the "culture" we live, for those who follow Jesus.

May we give Him our lives, and trust God with everything, no matter where we live or our financial status or living conditions.

I Get That From My Father.

I was driving home from  So. Cal yesterday and I had a 14 hour drive to debrief  all the thoughts and feelings and memories from the past wedding week.  I was the only adult in the car and the 3 littles were so drained and filled up from their week, that they sat and stared and slept and only got out of the car 1 time.  Some people may call that crazy, I call it God's grace. 

I prayed thru some stuff and gave enormous praise and thanks to God for so many things.  It was fun to have the time to just process it all in detail.

I kept coming back to how incredibly thankful I am that God allowed ALL my kids (on this side of the world) and GRANDS (grand parents and grand kids) to come together at one time.  Not only did all my kids and GRANDS come, but so many cousins and nieces and nephews and friends.  There was representation from every part of our lives.

Every time a car load arrived, we all ran out of the house to greet the new comers.  There were hugs and news to share, even though we all keep in touch with technology, some things are just better shared face to face.

One of the car loads arrived and we of course all ran out to greet, and we returned to a *not so small* BBQ fire.  It only cost some arm hair on Justin, and it provided a  new moon view on the shade canopy over the BBQ, but it was totally worth it.  (right Justin and Shauna?)

I went over and over my favorite parts of the week and it always came back to how amazing it was that each person came and brought all their gifts and talents to use and share.

  It ranged from the boys using their muscles to move stuff and driving everyone and everything  everywhere they needed to go.  The girls made everything and everyone look so pretty. 

 We all shared in the set up and clean up over and over and over.  The cycle is, set up, eat up, and clean up...repeat.

  The relationship happened as much in the working together as it did in the celebrating.  

 When it was set up and clean up, it was all hands on deck, when it was celebration time, it was all feet on the floor. 

When we worked, we worked alongside one another, everyone giving what they could. 

 When we ate, we ate a lot of excellent food together

 and when we danced, 

 we danced with all our might.

There is a lot of people in this family, and we come with a lot of 

"baggage"
  and we bring a lot of luggage too

 (wink). 

 The beautiful thing is this family is messy and wild and we can pack a lot into a few days, but when this mess comes together, Christ is the center, and He makes us and our stuff into something He can use.

 We help each other sort through some of our "baggage" and we gather in hallways and entryways to pray thru the next step.

After I had prayed and praised thru the stuff on my heart, I thought,

"I wonder what God thought of it all?  I wondered what parts brought Him the most joy?"

As soon as I had that thought.....I felt Him respond to me,

"You know your favorite parts, the part about your family coming together and enjoying each other; the relationships that were worked thru and enjoyed and celebrated? 

 YOU GET THAT FROM YOUR FATHER."

Not only did God provide for all my favorite parts, but those were His favorite parts too.

2017 Reflection / 2018 Ready Set Go

The year 2017 can kind of be summed up with the word REST.
 I started the year and ended the year with a trips to Uganda.  We had a family vacation/ family reunion to Marantha Bible Camp, in the summer for a week of family camp.  God just put me with all my favorites, doing all my favorite things, in the beginning, middle and end of the year. 

 

  We had time this year to rest and recover. We had some recovering to do, as the year before had been stressful and brought on some heartache, but God has been so faithful and given us rest and recovery in the kindest ways.  Rest is often about trusting in what God is doing.  On the 7th day, God rested, but the world stayed spinning and things still grew.  So even though it feels like a year of rest, we kept working, things kept moving along, but we had to trust God in what was going on in a whole new way. Last year felt like it started with
 Remember and Wait.
  Remember who God is and what He has done and wait on Him and His timing and His direction.

Upon reflecting on 2017  it made me think of when a runner has been injured, they need rest and recovery.    Rest and recovery looks a lot like time to heal and therapy to rebuild, so they can come back even stronger.  If the proper steps are not taken in the process you can come back timid and hesitant.  If you rest and recover with intention and focus and strengthen the injured places, you can come back with confidence and strength.

 This year has been like that for us in certain areas.  We have had to dig deep into prayer and God's Word to understand the injury and let it heal properly.

2018 has a feeling of  

Wonderment 

in Charlie's word for the year. 

I feel like it is a year to

 Be Aware and Respond.

Hebrews 12:1English Standard Version (ESV)

Jesus, Founder and Perfecter of Our Faith

12 Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us,

We are recovered and ready to run this race and all along the way being more AWARE and in awe and WONDER of all God is doing in us and around us all along the course of life. May we live this year in RESPONSE to all that He shows us and works in us.

Psalm 16:11English Standard Version (ESV)

11 

You make known to me the path of life;

    in your presence there is fullness of joy;

    at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.