This week has been a real heart throbber. 

 Feels like our chests have been heavy.

Everyday had something very heavy to walk thru.  

We have prayed for others and we have asked for prayers.

The final blow was so personal and has awakened my heart in a fresh way.

After a rough night with Cellie being sick on Wednesday night, she declined in a huge way on Thanksgiving morning.  Her chest would retract so deep that you could practically see her backbone with every breath.  She would do this up to 68 times in a minute. 

 I was scared and panicked, it happened very fast.

  I prayed hard and fast while Charlie drove hard and fast to get some help.

  We arrived in the E.R. stressed and half dressed. 

Cellie only had a diaper and coat on.  I left the house with the bathtub water running.

  I was running a steamy bath because that usually solves everything in our house. 

 I realized as the water was running that this was beyond a steamy bath.

 The registration lady at the ER asked Cellie's name, and I could NOT remember.....I stood there, and all I could remember was JOY, and I felt none of THAT, so I figured that couldn't be right.

 I finally got her name figured out.

Then the lady asked her date of birth,

 * are you kidding me*

 I absolutely could not recall, I went completely blank.....finally the lady told me that it was 2016 if that helped at all.....oh dear....she had no idea how much that did NOT help.  

We finally got passed that little quiz that I failed, of which felt like it took 30 minutes

when it actually took about 30 seconds, and we headed back to a room.

 Charlie came in from parking the car and took his normal knee posture and tied my shoes for me.  We were a mess.

Things started to get better real quick once the breathing treatment began.  They helped her a ton.  She was diagnosed with croup with a possibility of a couple of different things going on, but was responding well to all the medicine.  She was much better after several treatments and hours but would not stay better for very long, so the Doc decided she needed to be admitted and transferred to another hospital. 

 We got released the next day at 3:33pm and she has been doing great.  

Sassy and bossy as ever.

We missed Thanksgiving, but I can tell you we were giving

 THANKS all thru the day!!

1 Thessalonians 5:17-18English Standard Version (ESV)

¹⁷ pray without ceasing, ¹⁸ give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.

I spent the better part of 2 days in the hospital just holding my baby. 

 It was the quietest and stillest  I've been for years. 

Just sat and prayed.

The Lord took our time together to show me some stuff.  We had a little heart to heart pow wow.

I have felt like a bench warmer in my faith for the last year.  I was sidelined, setting out.

As I sat there quiet before the Lord I realized I have been benched. 

 I kept showing up, but I was in the wrong uniform and I was sitting down.

 When I gave my life to Jesus, he had given me armor and I have been wearing shorts and a tank top. 

 He reminded me that this life that I live, is from HIM and for HIM. 

 It's not a game and it's definitely not a spectator sport, it's a battle.  I had traded my armor in for something comfortable and easy and acceptable.  

Armor is heavy and hard and offensive.

Ephesians 6:10-20(ESV)

The Whole Armor of God

¹⁰ Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might. ¹¹ Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. ¹² For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. ¹³ Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm. ¹⁴ Stand therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, ¹⁵ and, as shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace. ¹⁶ In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one; ¹⁷ and take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God, ¹⁸ praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end, keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints, ¹⁹ and also for me, that words may be given to me in opening my mouth boldly to proclaim the mystery of the gospel, ²⁰ for which I am an ambassador in chains, that I may declare it boldly, as I ought to speak

 

When I woke up Friday morning after a pretty sleepless night in the hospital, I was AWAKE!

AWAKE!

  I was ready to put on my armor and quit running up and down the court like this life is just an exercise. 

 It's not a game, it's a battle.

It's not a jog it's a race.

  It's not an exercise or a practice drill, it's the real deal.  It's the only shot we have, this is our time, our generation, our chance to do what we were created to do and be who God called us to be.

I felt like I had gotten my little heart to heart pep talk and then sent to the locker room, which looked an awful lot like a hospital room, and I was told to change my clothes and my mindset and come out ready for battle.

I got this picture from my dear friend Patience several weeks ago.  It showed how I have felt coming in and going out of the locker room.

I sent out a battle cry in the form of a text and asked people to pray.  I put on worship music in that locker/hospital room and got my praise on. All the Dr.'s and nurses coming in and out just had to talk over the top of it.  I didn't care. 

  Charlie came up to the room a little later and we prayed and confessed sin and asked the Lord for forgiveness and for help with our lives.  We admitted that we can't do this on our own.  

We didn't want ANYTHING standing in the way of our prayers, we were not holding back.

 We asked GOD to help us, to wake us up to live for HIM.

Romans 11:36 (ESV) 

³⁶ For from him and through him and to him are all things. To him be glory forever. Amen.

Romans 12:1-2

A Living Sacrifice

12 I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. ² Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.

 This is not a formula or prescription, it's a testimony of God using every piece of our lives to teach us and use us for His glory and purpose on this earth.  No matter how our emergencies and non emergencies play out, it's all part of the testimony of how God speaks to us  and works in our hearts and in our lives every single day.

I am very mindful of the fact that not everyone gets to bring their baby home so soon and as healthy as we did.

  I am very thankful and humbled by God's grace and HIS healing in our lives.