What's Next? Living Free!

Give us this day our daily bread.

  This is one of the things Jesus put in a prayer that was to teach us how to pray.

I have been thinking and praying a lot about what is next for us.

 This move has been a huge transition in every way. 

Charlie and I feel freed up and yet stuck in the thoughts of,

 “What now?”

 Charlie got a good contract to finish his Oregon building career.

 He is working as hard as a young man with the wisdom of an old man.

  He is getting paid for his back and brain on this one. 

I feel like God gave us our financial get out of jail debt free card and if I begin to think it was a one-shot deal that can make me worried and stingy.  I can start to think God is done with taking care of us and now he is sending us to figure life out on our own.

* This is not the character or my experience of my Father, it’s just what happens in my mind if I forget WHO my Father is.*

 God teaches us things to draw us closer to Him, into a deeper dependence, and to trust Him fully.

 He doesn’t teach us things so we can move out of the house and fend for ourselves.

God treats us as children that He loves and cares for.

I think of our children and how we give them what they need when they need it, and we aren't all mean and mad about it.

 And when they get old enough to send to the store with a list and some money, and if they come back with a bag of candy instead of the things on the list, I might not send them to the store again for a while, until they learn how to handle the list and the money responsibly.

God doesn’t shortchange us and tell us to figure it out ourselves and He also doesn’t approve when we come home with nothing but a bag full of junk that isn't even good for us.

Matthew 7:11-12 (ESV) 11 If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!

As I sit with the Lord and feel so thankful for His mighty provision and His faithful generosity; in the same sitting, I can hold my breath in anxiety about the future if I forget WHO I am sitting with.

We have done everything wrong according to American living and yet our God keeps showing up and providing generously as needed. 

The thing that is often taught and preached about is how to be good stewards.  I believe in good stewardship, it is Biblical.  What if we have stewardship backward, kinda like Kingdom living is upside down.
The KING came down as a servant to serve and save.

  What if stewardship means giving more, not saving more, using what is given now, not storing for later.

What if we remembered WHO we are stewards for and WHOSE resources we are stewarding.
 What if we really believed that every last bit of everything we have been given is for His Kingdom, not ours?

I’ve never read anywhere in God’s Word that He could only use people that were rich enough, or smart enough, or creative enough to do what He has told us to do in His Word.

 How have we put a price tag or limitations on what God puts on our hearts?

My mind wants to store up what He has given us, and be smarter this time, and my heart wants to 

GO and GIVE

 like a wild child that is free and forgiven and lavished on with grace and love, and everything I could ever need physically and spiritually are provided for by my Heavenly Father forever!

Psalm 34:8-9 English Standard Version (ESV)

8 

Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good!

    Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him!

9 

Oh, fear the Lord, you his saints,

    for those who fear him have no lack!

Happy National Adoption Month

  November is National Adoption Month!!
I love to share our journey in 

 ADOPTION!!!

Some things I would say about adoption, as we are 8 years into this journey; is that my heart and mind have changed a ton, and grown a million miles thru this journey.

 I still believe in adoption 100% but not 100% of the time. 

 I am thankful for adoption.  I'm most thankful for my adoption into God's family.

  I'm thankful that God saw His people; some kids, and some adults, with broken places in our lives and brought us together, to do some healing thru

the story of adoption, on earth as it is in heaven.

. I'm grieved by the brokenness that makes adoption a thing.

 I'm sad that people have often times corrupted the institution of adoption.

I'm totally against some practices that go on with some adoptions.

I've matured in my understanding, and I don't think adoption is for everyone, not for every "orphan" and not for every family. 

 I definitely think adoption is for FAR more people than actually enter in, but it's not a firm yes across the board.

  I've learned some things along the way and learned a lot about my own heart in this process.

Some good some gross.

When we set out to adopt over 8 years ago, we thought it was about the orphan and how we could help make a difference.

 We thought we were doing what God called us to, we thought we could provide a child that needed a family, 

with a family,

 a really big one.

  I still believe we were/are called to adoption, but I believe we needed it even more than our adopted children. 

 We have learned more about God and our own adoption into His family, than anything else we have ever done. 

Laboring to give birth, is the most beautiful, painful, exhausting, exhilarating and amazing messy hard thing God has ever designed a body to endure, and I put those same adjectives with adoption.

 Adoption is a different kind of labor, and it can stress a person beyond control, and it can bring out beautiful life and joy to the whole family. 

  God needed to grow us in a lot of areas; so what better way than to throw us out in a big wild sea that is full of high winds and waves and full of enough fear to sink any ship. 

 He has taught us how to rely on Him, and in the process of teaching us,  He has brought us a  few more kids to love and raise.  

Our family needed these kids, more than these kids needed a family.

Our adopted kids, as well as our bio kids, have their own story, that I have often been too open in sharing. 
 I have learned to tame it back a bit (probably not enough) and let them tell their story to who they want when they want.  I get excited to share and it blesses me and blows me away what God has done, so I thought it would bless all who heard.  I have learned that when I share too openly, I open the door for people to share their opinion. God put our family together, and it is not subject to opinion, it is a gift from our Lord.

 I love that I can point to God and say,  HE DID IT!  I don't want to take credit as the one who did something wonderful when things are good, which can bring pride, and I don't want to think I'm a total screw-up when things are hard, which can bring shame.
 Neither of these is helpful for anyone.

It was God that lead us on this journey no matter how we have stumbled and fallen our way thru it at times.
 I can look to Him when things are wonderful and when things are hard and everywhere in between.

I love that our adopted kids have a different color of skin than us pale peeps. 
Our family was anemic in a lot of ways.
  We needed some color added to our lives.
  Adoption comes in all skin colors, but for me, I especially love to look at my kids that look nothing like me and know that God went across the world and borders and oceans and color charts and allowed me into a world that I knew nothing about. Only God could have done such a colorful creative thing in our family.  I look at my bio kids and marvel at how much they are like us, we pick out things on each kid saying who each particular feature reminds us of.
With our adopted kids we revel in the way they look so different from us. 
We love how different skin and hair need different things to be healthy.
We embrace both, we are in awe of both.
Esther put coconut oil in Cellie's hair the other day, which is a very healthy thing to do with African hair.
  I had to remind Esther that limp hair cannot take that oil.
 I have laughed and enjoyed experiences many times over these kinds of
"differences".

 Both, the ways our kids are like us and the ways they are different bless my mother heart beyond anything I can describe.

I can't tell stories and show pictures of our family without including our heart adoptions.
Adoption comes in many different forms and looks different and unique with each one.  

We have 2 sons that are in Uganda, Simon and Patrick, and they have a beautiful mother that has raised them well and continues to be a vital loving part of their lives on a daily basis.  God has allowed Charlie and I  to step in and fill a role with these boys that have helped and supported their family unit.  We get the amazing privilege of filling this role and loving them as our own.   I can tell you with every fiber of my being they are our sons.  We have adopted them into our hearts into that special place that is saved only for our children.

Claiborne is our son that resides in a place in our hearts the size of Texas.
Claiborne has a family that loves him and have been in his life from the day he was born until forever.  Somehow, by the grace and goodness of God, from the time we met him, there was this family bond that took over our hearts towards him, and our kids all took to him like a brother.
 Once that love has been adopted into your heart, it is forever family.

   The beautiful part about family is there are no limits in age, color, or number that can overextend the love of a family that draws their love from the

 Wellspring of Life and Love.

Adoption has made this limitless love a reality for us and the outside is only a glimpse of what it has taken place on the inside.  

Ephesians 1:5-6

 In love 5 he predestined us for adoption to himself as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, 6 to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved.