First Day of High School for Charsie, and Another Little Confession

Charsie's first day of school today...first day of high school!  

This girl of mine has home schooled for 2 years now, and so I can not tell you how bad I'm going to miss this girl.    I miss her because she is a huge help and so organized and a real go-getter...but I also just flat enjoy her company.  She is funnier than a crutch and she's deep...she may be young, but she just "gets it" ya know.  She is not selfish AT ALL....she is a giver of herself..her time..EVERYTHING.  We had our little routines that we enjoyed...lunch in town on Wednesdays after Bible study, watch a little Reba sometimes in the afternoon.

   So.....today, I'm excited for her and her new beginning as a high school student going to school, but I'm broken hearted, I just have to keep givin' up my girls lately, and I'm NOT liking it AT ALL, I am fully aware of how fast time goes by especially once they hit high school age, and soon driving and you wonder where the time has gone.

And here's the truth, I'm also a little bit scared....I haven't had to do this on my own for 2 full years and I hope I can handle it...Reece scares me just a little. I asked her if she was really going to trust me alone with him...she said she has confidence that I can do it!!!   Thank God, Charsie's new school allows her to have her phone so if I have questions or an emergency I can call or text.  Whew!!!!

Look at that little face...you have to admit, you would be a little scared as well.  hehe!

I Will Not Leave You As Orphans

Here is a thought I have been pondering for awhile now.....

I don't know if this lines up with what others' experience, or how this will go over in the adoption world, but, here is my thoughts and my experience with my daughter, Esther.

My relationship to my daughter, Esther, has taught me a lot about my relationship to my Heavenly Father.

**Clarification:  I know I'm not God to any of my kids...I fail them daily and mess up...and God never fails and never messes up...but, there are some similarities in relationship.**

I KNOW that I will never leave Esther...I will love her and always be there for her...I just know this...it's a fact..she's my daughter and I will be there for all my kids...I will never leave them...just as God has promised to never leave us...it doesn't mean I can or will protect her from everything bad, and there will be times I won't be with her physically, but I will always be her mom...I will always pray for her and love her and there is nothing she can do to change that.  BUT...I know she doesn't TRUST this or me yet...she loves me and she comes to me with her needs and her desires, she hugs me and kisses me, and we are very bonded....but, we can be right in the midst of the best time, or when she is truly enjoying herself or in the midst of receiving EXACTLY what she desires - and she is asking for more - worried about the next thing.  She will be sitting there with a HUGE bowl of ice cream, and asking for more, worried this is the last of it and she won't get anymore.  I, as her parent know there is more ice cream to come in the days ahead, and I can tell her that as many times as I want, but she doesn't fully TRUST this.

This behavior reminds me of myself - God can blow my doors off with answered prayer and goodness and blessings and in the back of my mind - I'm asking for the next thing...I'm NOT resting in His presence, and enjoying FULLY the blessing of Him and His gift - I'm worried and positioning myself for the next thing...NOT trusting that He will take care of the next thing..next day..next need...next desire.

*Much like the Israelites - they were freed from slavery - had seen extraordinary miracles had manna rain down from heaven - Had ALL their needs taken care of by GOD and they had the gall to complain and gripe and not trust the Lord, over and over and over again...this went on for 40 years in the desert as they wondered around complaining and God just continually provided and fed them and showed them miracle after miracle, blessing after blessing.*

My birth children - who have been with us since their birth - are typical children...still ask and beg and want, and complain, but there is a certain TRUST that they have that Esther does not have yet.  They know that they have always been fed and clothed and loved and cared for, so they can enjoy a moment for what it is - not worrying about the next thing, next meal, next next next * Esther does not have the history with us yet, she doesn't fully trust, she has to get to know us and be able to rest in the love and the fact that we are with her, we will do our very best for her.  Just as I get more and more history with the Lord, as I get to know Him better I realize I can trust Him for everything.  Of course this doesn't mean we give her everything she wants or asks for...If we did that, we would NOT be doing what is best for her,  we know what is best for her, better than she or any child thinks is best for them.

Just like my heavenly Father knows what is best for me - and He will NEVER leave me - and He will always LOVE me and He will always provide for me and take care of me.  He knows ALL THINGS.  

So, I'm working on trusting the Lord better, and I'm praying for Esther to trust us as her parents.  I'm working on NOT pouting when my Heavenly Father doesn't do what I think He should do when I think He should do it, and I'm teaching Esther to NOT put when she doesn't get everything she wants the minute she wants it.

I'm praying I learn to trust and rest in the wisdom, and protection, and provision of God, and I pray Esther learns to rest and relax in the provision and protection of us and ultimately this will help her trust and enjoy the presence and provision of our LORD.

John 14:18

English Standard Version (ESV)

 ¹⁸"I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you.

I think there is a lot more meaning to this verse than I ever realized.  Thank you Lord for not leaving me as an orphan, but coming to me and saving me, so that I don't have to worry about tomorrow, but have ETERNAL life with you not matter what goes on in this life and world. Thank you for never leaving me, and loving me NO MATTER WHAT.

I thought I would post some "random summer" fun we had that are memorable moments, but just never blogged about it......

We went to wedding of a dear friend of ours...1 week after Lashae and Chaney got married.  It was so stinkin' fun.  It was fun to relax and  enjoy.  Cassie, the bride and Lashae claim to be sisters....but it was so much fun to go to 2 beautiful weddings in 2 weekends in a row, and they were totally totally different...each very unique to the couple, but both totally centered on Jesus.  I know the Lord loves our individuality and tastes...just look at the variety of people and animals and landscape.  

Abby and Kole looking GORGEOUS at the Cassie's wedding.  

This is a beautiful quilt that some of the church ladies put together for Chaney and Lashae...this  is  so special and the ladies came over to give it to them in person.  It's hard to see in this picture, but this quilt is western and perfect for them...they even personalized it with family brands all throughout the quilt.  I love each of these ladies sooo very much!!!  They let Charsie and Esther help pick things out and even do some sewing on this work of art...I have NO SKILL when it comes to ANY of this, so it is an added blessing that these ladies are willing to teach my girls their skills.  

Charlie and his two sisters!!!  Bobby on the left and Sister Sue...or  "Squeeze" as I call her, on the right.  They have come from time to time this summer to help Charlie's folks out...if they look like mischief...you are seeing right.  These girls are fun, and crazy and hard working...as you can see from the sunburns on their arms...they had worked outside all day at Charlie's folks' house.

4th of July!!!  We stayed home and enjoyed our little pool that has been such a blessing this summer.   As we sat outside enjoying the day...Kennedy and Esther gave me and my mom manicures and pedicures.  How fun is that!!!!

Esther and Reece enjoying the pool.  Esther is learning to swim and as usual...the kid is quick to learn!

Oh Roo.....do I need to say more???

Enjoying the Fruit of Our Labor

We had a small window of opportunity to take a last minute quick trip to Montana to see the newlyweds, and we jumped at the chance. 

 We had such a great time.  We talked on the way up there about how we are to handle ourselves now...as parents, to a married child, as in-laws to the man that married our daughter.....new role for us, so we had a 12hr trip to talk about it.  We decided on this approach.."We are going to keep our mouths SHUT!!!  We are going to come and serve and encourage...we are just going to enjoy them and encourage them in their new life.  We are NOT going to say a word if the toilet paper is stored in the kitchen and the dishes are washed in the shower, we are going to just enjoy them and DO whatever it is they WANT US to do."  

Sooooo....here's how it went....we didn't have a thing to say....they are doing awesome.  They had their house set up perfect...they are thriving....they are going to church, they are working hard, they are having fun, they are laughing, they are learning, they are DOING AMAZING!!!!  I sat there one morning thinking....this is soooo much fun, I'm not even having trouble keeping my mouth shut, I have nothing but NICE to say.  So I decided......this is awesome, we are getting to enjoy the "fruit of our labor"...we are done raising her and now we just get to ENJOY her PLUS an added bonus of a wonderful son-in-law and enjoy this couple that we love so much.

We packed in a LOT of fun stuff while there...

THE MEN, and Charsie moved some cows and doctored and separated.  They had several young and greenish horses for this task and they all did AWESOME....everyone came back in one piece and got the task done.  Chaney knows the property well, and did a good job keeping everyone lined out.  The "women"...that would be me and Lashae, cooked up a storm...we had so much fun cooking in the kitchen together with all her new wedding gifts....you know we made A LOT when Kole had to leave the table, he was so full and somewhat sick.  We high-fived...Kole does NOT say he is "full" EVER, and when he does you know you have worked yourself silly in the kitchen.

Here's the work crew acting silly as usual.  Chaney suggests we take a mean picture, so Kole instantly goes for Chaney's throat.  Whatever...Chaney's suggestion.

We had competitions in the evenings and YES you are witnessing the finish line of  100yard dash, and Chaney is beating Kole.  Oh man did we have to hear about THAT...from Chaney we got to hear what an amazing stud he is...from Kole we heard 50 reasons why he lost TWICE!!!

This is the crew being shown around by the happy couple.

This is some of their wood for the winter...and the wind took their roof right off the shed that keeps the wood dry, so Charlie and Kole put a roof on the shed.

The girls built a dog-kennel, for my grand-dogs, and they were in the thistle  so they put these attractive socks on to complete the task.  DORKS!!!!

Lashae requested a door for her bedroom. Old farm houses rarely have doors on the bedrooms.  Charlie built her the prettiest door EVER out of some old barn wood that was there on the place.  Lashae says she is taking it with her wherever they go.  It was a labor of LOVE.  Charlie worked on that door for about 5 hours, if you know my man you know he won't just slap up any door, it has to be perfect and beautiful, he built it from SCRATCH, and then Esther put the finishing touches on it and painted it with a sealer.

Charsie took the kids swimming in the creek right by the house,  it was FREEZING!!!

This was the final activity of the trip.  We got a flat-tire on the job trailer on the way home.  Nobody was in the mood for it, I can tell you that.  We were tired and had been in the car a LONG time and had a ways to go, so it was serious business until Reece, stopped running around in circles long enough to notice what Charlie was doing...and he paused, got HUGE eyes and RAN up to Charlie, grabbed him by the underwear and yelled at the top of his lungs, "WEEDDGGIE".  Oh we all just had to laugh, I thought I might go into labor on the spot it was soooo funny and it lightened the mood PERFECTLY.

Confession:  There was ONE thing, I just couldn't keep my mouth shut on....they are not using real butter, they are using that plastic stuff that looks like butter.  I could not figure out why Lashae had told me her cookies were not turning out, when I was sent the recipe that she loves more than anything...well, IT WAS THAT STUPID PLASTIC FAKE STUFF THEY CALL BUTTER....**I simply suggested the cookies might turn out better and they may live to be older if they quit eating plastic.**  I hope I didn't overstep my bounds.

My Man is "48"!!!

Happy 48th Birthday!  

All I can say is My Man is THE MAN!!!!  He just walked his oldest down the aisle to marry her off....he has been to Africa to get our African daughter..and he is going to be A DADDY again here in a few weeks.  This is just one example of a year in the life of "Charlie".

This guy does NOT QUIT!!!  He lives life to the absolute fullest.  He never says, "I can't"....he does not seem tired...(although he has every right to be).  He works like a dog, he plays like a child, he sleeps like a baby...He prays like a warrior...He is full on full out all the time! 

My man will give anything and everything for his family...He raffled off his favorite possession in the world, to bring his daughter home, and did it with such joy...and if you don't know the story...God just gifted right on back to him!!!!  

My man is a cowboy...through and through....he loves his horses, he loves to rope...he looks AWESOME in Wranglers....I've often told him this is the main reason I married him....hehehe...and guess what???  After 21 years of being married...he still looks hot in his Wranglers!!!

Seriously I can't think of a thing he hasn't tried....He is always willing to try!!!!(except veggies)

I love this man of mine...I love his silvering hair...I love that he is 48 years old...he just gets better with every passing year.

  I love that he lays it all out on the line everyday...

48 years of hard-work, Jesus loving, people loving, energetic, cowboy, fun, serious, craziness wrapped up in one good lookin' , wrangler wearing STUD!!!!

Happy Birthday Charlie!!!!

Adjusting

This will be short and sweet....we are adjusting to yet another CHANGE...This is the new norm for a few weeks and then it will all change AGAIN, but here it is.....

Get up...open God's word...BEG HIM FOR SOME INSIGHT for the day drink coffee and eat cookies...yep, it is the best breakfast in the world.

Make lunch for my hard workin' man.

Walk with some awesome gals...pray...talk...discuss..solve every problem ever heard of..haha.

Come back home...fumble around the kitchen...go lay down for a bit....

Text my sweet married daughter...usually she is asking for a recipe...I love that she is asking for these, she must have liked my food!!!  Yippee...score!!!!

Answer 20 questions from everyone about what the day entails....which usually the answer is ..."we are staying home and enjoying BEING HOME!!!!"

A few loads of laundry...more food distributed...book work...(which freaks me out and bums me out)...so I lay down again.

Time to think about dinner....

Dinner...20 more questions about what our night entails...which usually the answer is, "We are enjoying being home tonight."

I'm loving these days and knowing it is the calm before the storm so I for one am enjoying the down time!!!  I am getting some things that have been looming over my head done, so that maybe when baby comes in about 6 weeks...I'll be less behind....not caught up...just less behind.

Head to bed...lay there and listen to the kids that have been out and about...Kelsie..Kole...Charsie...come in and know that the chicks are returning to their nest for the night and I can sleep.

Ps.  Last night was another bitter sweet time...Charlie and I were in bed..it was about 1030pm and Kelsie, Charsie and Sydney came in to tell us about their hike they just returned from at Smith Rock...so much fun to hear these girls.....that was the sweet part...as they are all huddled around our bed...(makes me laugh)...the bitter part is, Sydney is headed to back to college, so I will miss her BAD...we had so say goodbye, and I'm about tired of goodbyes.  She was soooo sweet yesterday afternoon....she came over and rubbed my head, which is my most favorite thing in the whole world and watched Reba with me (which is my most favorite show in the whole world)...Charsie was relieved to have a break from the head rubbing.  :)

Anyway...that's kinda how the day goes for a few more days at least...then it's back to school...new baby...football season...lots of fun right around the corner.